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JackHailwood

Short Story - My Tree

26 posts in this topic

 

 

 

Good build up of suspense. I would like to have read more dialogue. It would work as a compelling music video.

Even though HE was talking about having a 14 year old boyfriend.? ohmy.png

As I said, more dialogue would have been good. Who said he was a boyfriend or they even had intercourse? The term "lover" could have alternative meanings. The story could have another plot twist where he's imagining it and it never really happened, he's mad, or maybe he was the 14 yr old boy and is now 45 and having a breakdown and has everything back to front?

 

 

Penultimate paragraph.

 

 

Don't come on here flashing your big words ;-)

Edited by Addie

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He might have said it, but need it be true? It's a subjective narrative so it's anybody's guess.

 

You are the author, ........................................................or the boy ohmy.png

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The story has clearly left an impression on you dilligaf.

 

I thought it was pretty good reading up until he mentions the 14 year old boyfriend. The story went over a cliff then.

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...and after all that, the cops didn't even bother to send out Special Branch.

 

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