I have so many friends, any one of whom would be mortified at the thought of me carrying this alone - yet I cannot tell them how desperately worried I am. Because they will tell their partner and/or their best friend and they will only tell one other who will tell their mum who will tell someone they meet at a bus stop, and eventually it will come back to me made common knowledge and insensitive by the many hands who have held the story of my soul and breaking heart.I am standing tall for my family and if they think I'm strong, well that's the idea and only you and I will know the painful truth.