As we received the bad news, I stood beside myself and gave myself marks out of ten for calmness under fire, reasonable queries and above all - nodding in a structured manner...I could win gold for nodding based on my performance today. I gave the consultant a whacking 8/10 for style, empathy and content (10/10 only awarded if it had been the all clear, of course). Imagine having that job, I thought to myself, and then going home for tea. honey, I'm home...Anyway, back to the waiting game. It's not the baddest of bad news that a human being can receive, I take comfort in that, its not agressive and can wait for the specialist to arrive, paying private or nhs, makes no difference.Me and my beloved have taken some body blows over the last few years but, this, this is the worst we've ever had to face. When it's your child, your are strangely helpless and dont know how to play it for their sake. Do we howl our pain at the moon or tighten the stiff upper lip and play on whilst titanic sinks..? The pain inside is raw and will never mend.