I am going mad, slowly but shorely, its trooo.... Its not this week, so all those standing by their beds from last week may now stand down - yes that means you too, your maj. A scan here some time this week and then a trip over to LPL. I cant stand the suspense, its driving one completely bonkers. And yours too no doubt! Whenever will she finish, the whinging old bag...I know I feel your pain...

I have taken up health in a big way, joined the gym, tried to diet sensibly and have tonight tried a supplement I read about in the paper - so it must be good eh?! Only I'm feeling very queasy indeed. Is this what a healthy body should feel like? Is that why olympic gold medallists look like they're constipated? I'll give it the bottle full and then report back, matron. I was looking on ebay for some posh trainers and came accross these 'masai' ones that have a curved sole - and you get a video to tell you how to walk in them, how cool is that?! Supposed to get rid of celulite..dont all rush! Just put 'masai' in the search and then look in sports/trainers and you will see what I'm on about. I can hear my father's voice in my mind saying 'there's one born every minute!' perhaps I DID come up the Clyde on a banana boat after all!

I'm deliberately not saying too much about you know what because I'm terrified of a jinx. Hey - if anyone thinks its all tosh - wanna swop lives?!!

Heard a good one liner today about telling a bloke his flies are down:

Your trousers are set for Monica instead of Hillary....!

Made me smile anyway, but I'm very sick aren't I nurse?!!.....comng to take me away ha ha....