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Mr. Sausages

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Posts posted by Mr. Sausages

  1. Jerry Seinfeld told these jokes when he performed at laxey yacht club recently.

    Q: where did the orange live?

    A: peel.

    Q: when the bishop visited santon how did he know he wasn’t on Laxey beach?

    A: because santon lacks sea, bitch.

    Q: who are the most popular movie stars in Kirk Michael and Douglas?

    A: Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas.

    Q: who are the most popular movie stars in Ramsey?

    A: Margo Robbie, Guy Pearce and any other actors who once lived on Ramsay Street.

    Q: who are the most popular pop stars in Ramsey?

    A: Stephan Dennis, Craig McLaughlin, and any other actors who once lived on Ramsay Street.

    Q: how many people from Port st Mary does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: 3 or 4.

    Q: how many people from Port Erin does it take to change a lightbulb?

    A: 7 or 8.

  2. A man with a giant pumpkin for a head walks up to his friend (who was from maughold)..
    The friend says, “My God! What happened to your head!?”
    “Well,” says the man, “I found a genie in a lamp who granted me three wishes.”
    “What did you wish for?” says the friend.
    “For the first one I wished for a hundred million dollars, and I got it!”
    “And the second?”
    “For the second wish I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world,” says the man, “and I got her too.”
    “The third wish?”
    “The third wish is where I really messed up...” says the man.
    “What went wrong?!” says the friend.
    “Well,” says the man, “I wished for a giant pumpkin head...”
     
     
    • Haha 3
  3. On 9/5/2022 at 4:52 PM, The Phantom said:

    Yeah, but he went to a 'party' (a few drinks with people he was already working with in a building) and then told some fibs.  

    Other countries have people like Putin, Trump, Marcos, Mugabe, etc in charge. 

    So? So the British should accept liars and lawbreakers too?

  4. 17 hours ago, therattopack said:


    Does anyone have any information that they can share with us? 

    Yes I have.  Russel Crowe’s dog in Gladiator also played the role of Well’ard in Eastenders.

    • Haha 2
  5. 1 minute ago, Roxanne said:

    Erm, didn’t Trump appoint Meadows? 

    Yep. Chief of staff who helped him burn docs in the White House and arrange the insurrection.  Rumour is he is now (last couple of days) cooperating with the jan 6th investigation.  

    • Like 1
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