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Uhtred

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Everything posted by Uhtred

  1. On the podium of (current) Tynwald Political Twatdom Comedy Gold, differentiating therefore from matters such as conventional stupidity, Cregeen, or humour rooted in ignorance, Hyperbowl Quayle, we have the following: Bronze medallist - Fire starter Boot; ‘Don’t have barbecues ‘cos they’ll cause...WOOOOFF what the fuck was that?’ Silver medallist - Spewin’ Juan; ‘Drink sensibly everyone otherwise you may...BLAAAAARGHH’ Gold medallist - Jason - Seagull - Moorhouse; ‘Can the Minister assure me that no avian predator will carry off small children and devour them horribly on Chicken Rock. This is a matter of national importance requiring the....blah blah blah’ Congratulations Jason - Tynwald’s Comedy Gold winning Twat.
  2. Other methods of obtaining a pair of jesters’ shoes are available.
  3. ‘Science requires’ eh? So not Lib Van looking to remind us that they exist. He had a try last week with the daft ‘Coronavirus medal’ plan he mooted to the UK. That sank without trace.
  4. No one is more relieved than the dog.
  5. He’s in for a big disappointment when he discovers that slavery has been abolished.
  6. Uhtred

    Rain

    I’ll tell you what is bloody weird; I’ve noticed that as the contrails have disappeared so too have high flying jet aircraft. Something is going on.
  7. It was indeed the most bizarre element of government’s ‘communications strategy’ so far. The logic of it escapes me.
  8. Uhtred

    Rain

    The profit of doom is presumably the fee charged by a professional hit-man. I think you’re a prophet.
  9. I commented weeks ago at the extraordinary absence of medics from the daily briefings. Such was Wrighty’s excellent, cogent and informative contribution yesterday that I feel vindicated. We should have had progressive briefings from him as the work he described was maturing. Had this been done, the whole complexion of the debate would have been enhanced. Edited to add - correct Derek; the comms side has been lacklustre at best - a topic for considerable reflection when this is all behind us.
  10. Uhtred

    Rain

    Well there’s no arguing with that logic Professor Hawking.
  11. Great plan...let’s simply take off the roofs.
  12. My grandfather smoked them and astonishingly didn’t die of lung cancer.
  13. Uhtred

    Rain

    Yes. And of course April is traditionally when the lizard people wake from hibernation in response to the surge in 5G transmissions. I for one love this weather, even though I now can’t count to six.
  14. I don’t fancy injecting it so I’m contemplating a Cillit Bang and Domestos spritzer.
  15. That’s right...announced at noon today, 6 hours after coming into effect. How terribly helpful.
  16. Yes. Trapeze artists, uranium miners and tea-pickers are allowed to resume work but only during the hours of darkness and if they wrap their entire body in cling-film. Howard Quayle told me this personally.
  17. Viruses, nor plagues for that matter, do not have nationalities. There is no Chinese Plague. Just as there wasn’t a Spanish ‘Flu.
  18. Your initial reference to ‘The Chinese Plague’, drawn of course from your racist playbook, was self-evidently a reference to Coronavirus/Covid-19, so my correction that this is a virus, not a plague of any kind, remains undimmed. Now run along and rejoin the other six year olds while the grown-ups use the forum.
  19. Ashford has received plaudits on these pages and he is the best performing Minister (a relative statement) but just like his boss Teen-Strop Quayle, Ashford gets instantly snarky and defensive when challenged/pressed. It’s ill-becoming of a Minister to react thus and illustrates a lack of character and/or tolerance.
  20. I was using the medical term as this is a medical emergency. And by the way, a plage of locusts is an infestation of a French beach. I’m confident that my time at school delivered more benefits than did yours.
  21. A plague is a bacterial infection, Covid is a virus. Do keep up.
  22. The motto of IOM ‘Newspapers’ - right there.
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