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About bellemort

  • Birthday 10/10/1971

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  • Interests
    Power Kiting, Motorcycles,Science Fiction,Rock Music,

bellemort's Achievements


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  1. bellemort

    Pick Up Lines

    Had the worst one ever tried at a bike rally a couple of weeks ago If you were a macdonalds you would be a macgorgeous!!
  2. Angel eyes - Jeff Healey
  3. While attending a Marriage Guidance meeting, my wife and I listened to the counsellor declare, 'it is essential that a husband and wife knows the things that are important to each other.' He addressed us both: 'can you each name and describe your wife's favourite flower?' indicating I reply first I leaned over, touched my wife's arm gently and said, 'self-raising, isn't it?'
  4. I agree Having trained as domestic abuse counsellor, for many reasons women do not leave a violent relationship.however to have to rely on a judge/jury to understand the trauma suffered by the victim is why so many victims do not come forward or drop all the charges. Some do not even understand that they are in a destructive relationship and view their circumstances as normal.
  5. bellemort

    The Crash

    This morning on the way to work I drove into the back of a car, at some lights, whilst not really paying attention. The driver got out.. he was a dwarf. He said, "I'm not happy"... I replied, "Well, which one are you then?" (It is an old one!)
  6. I was disgusted by the interview that I saw as the excuse I didnt know what I was doing etc.. it has just given the green light for the male offender to use that excuse
  7. Mine means chaos which some say is apt! corvaal? I did not specify in which language.LOL...
  8. Mine means chaos which some say is apt!
  9. Thank you so much for your help x
  10. Does anyone know if I can take a cutting from honeysuckle and if so when is the correct time to do so?
  11. A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex." The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist says, "very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman on a bed making love." The Psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with sex." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
  12. bellemort


    A bloke goes off to the pub a group of his mates are sitting at the bar discussing problems. The man joins in the conversation. "My wife has cut me down to just once a week," he said looking upset. "Cheer up mate," said one of his his friends. "She's cut some of us out completely."
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