Manx Bean

I was actually taking the piss..

What about a film industry?

It's 4.30pm at Transport House and Mr Longworth is sat in his office, tapping a pen impatiently on his desk, trying to solve the final clue of this month's crossword in Steam Enthusiasts Monthly. There is a knock on the door. "Yes!! What?????!" A pale tall man with greased hair and sporting a trimmed beard walks in clutching a laptop. "Erm, I think I've got the stats to add up for Journeys, but erm....they look down on last year, and I can't get them any....." "Shut it now! Give me that new fangled pile of crap and let me see! These can't possibly be correct. You see, I know things and I know a shoddy piece of counting when I see it. Ah you see - now if we take the Colby stop, I saw at least 4 people get off there one day - on a bloody Sunday. During TT! So, if we extrapolate that out across the whole season, add 5% for margin of error, adjust by using the North Korean passenger satisfaction survey methodology and then round up by the nearest 10....see, that's looking better already!! Now piss off and do the rest. I have to email these ready for the bunch of fuckwits in Tynwald tomorrow!"

Jesus. It's 3.2% - get over yourself.

As predicted, when his holiness the Chief Cockwomble was interviewed on BBC Breakfast this morning, his only reference was about TT visitors being able to get here. No mention of the effect on residents - you know, us dickheads who pay his wages. Typical politician - why do they all think the whole world revolves around the TT? Fat idiot.

You mean a bit like the other double-barrell free-loader who also flounced out of her role at DOI, where one of her co-political members was...oh, Julie Edge?

I have reached the point where I can't help but be utterly embarrassed for the people of Arbory, Castletown and Malew. When it comes to voting on the wooden spoon of constituencies in terms of the people they managed to vote in to represent them, is there anywhere else that comes close?

I was actually surprised to hear U-Turn Ray actually growing a pair. Go Ray.

http://www.iomtoday.co.im/article.cfm?id=53815&headline=Cruise visitors to clean up our beaches in south&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2020&cat=Environment Wow!!! Toursim have managed to scrape together a new first for passengers visiting Douglas.. Rome - see spectacular remnants of the ancient Roman Empire, Norway - see Glaciers and incredible scenery, St Lucia - see crystal clear waters and white sand beaches, Douglas - pick up dirty shite and old fishing nets off some windy beach. It's almost up there with one excursion I saw disembarking from a coach outside Jurby Junk shortly before it closed.

It's a gimic that sits awkwardly with the IOMG's determination to be at the cutting edge of tech underlined by its own Digital Strategy. Potentially, its a great idea as too many of us are too comfortable with our own company with our face glued to the screen. However, for the same money I could have 2 weeks all inclusive in Spain and just leave my phone in the hotel safe. I really can't see people paying high prices purely to lock their phone away on some damp campsite, can you?

Brilliant. More gross incompetence from Messrs Black & Robinson. But don't worry folks. This blunder will only cost us another £1m. Chickenshit in the overall league of cock-ups. http://www.iomtoday.co.im/article.cfm?id=53327&headline=Red signal for Prom scheme&sectionIs=NEWS&searchyear=2020

For completeness, it would be refreshing for the Island's Mickey Mouse media to actually follow up and complete a story....I guess I'd be hanging on for a long time..

The probation service. From what I have witnessed of it in action, it is hardly a punishment.

You for real?

Thank you! If nothing else, it smacks of a Minster being more interested in his own ego than what the public will think. He's not the first and won't be the last!