Sheldon

Which can be neatly summarised as, "Ashford, WTF?" No mention of any point-by-point refutation either.

Out of interest, if you were a pepper, what kind would you be?

That's Schrödinger's cat level of both funny and not funny simultaneously, but I know what you mean.

So, the rationale appears to be, get into bed with a party in Scotland which is "abhorrent", because "England make rubber bullets and poor people". I'm not sure Keeran is really cut out for politics.

And here I thought Josem had the monopoly on pandering to the nationalistic Facebook massive. Maybe you ought to wait until you're actually elected, Keeran lad, although that could be a very long time coming.

The one (and perhaps only) thing I'd say in Josem's favour is that at least he's less ubiquitous and slightly less irksome than "Bonzo Slater".

Judging by the length of the above piece about fourteen parking spaces it seems like Josem has far too much time on his hands. Long may that continue. My favourite part is where "local resident, Charles, highlighted that with a combination of an aging Manx population, our sometimes inclement marine environment, and the hilly topography of Douglas, car parking is important to allow people from across the island to access Douglas." Now of course I'm not saying that Charles and his flowery quote don't actually exist; but I do sort of hope not.

Who could have predicted a surge in demand for statistics at 4pm every day?

The three ages of man: Tri-weekly Try weekly Try weakly

I could have sworn Ashford said "days".

A question to which either possible answer seems equally damning

This is the sort of thing an eight year old might write, when not busy sorting his Pokémon cards. Arguably the worst part is the use of "always". What about before Prince William was born? Did Philip scale the lofty heights of second favourite then? Or did Princess Di and the Queen Mum (Gawd bless 'em) push the poor old Duke into fourth place at that point? Hopefully Rob will clarify in his next round of pointless ramblings.

SICK 😉

I'm just disappointed that nobody has picked up on the use of "in to" rather than "into".

It's not quite "The unspeakable in pursuit of the uneatable” but it can't be far away.