Sheldon

If ever there was a job that just cried out for some Chinese granite.

Ellen - sorry, Elliot - Page?

I can’t be bothered grafting Skelly’s face onto a gif of Dory from Finding Nemo, so you’ll just have to use your imagination, sorry.

"Crack one open"? I thought they said "Rub one out". Oops.

Titter ye not!

That's the real kicker, isn't it? I still can't believe that update from Quayle just before midnight on New Year's Eve was real, and the more I think about it the more unreal it gets.

She fights pandas?

Not for the first time on here, initial positions tend to be adopted at either extreme of the spectrum (no pun intended) and then defended to the metaphorical death, when the best approach most likely lies somewhere in between.

Brilliant!

Us older types hide behind the sofa when it's on now because we're afraid of all the diversity.

Did @Albert Tatlock get reinstated then?

An incidental point, but does "tw@t" really need the final "t" there? Not a question that would probably have occurred to me when sober, and certainly not one I'd have posted. Beer, eh?

Jouster?

Hey, don't bash the Bishop.