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iom_cb

Advice

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Edited to say: Uni is prob one of the most stressful things you can do,

 

You reckon?

 

Dont know if you went to uni, but I thought it was stressful, especially in the final year - as much as people like to think, its not all about having fun, if you want the grade you have to work hard - i dont know anyone who thinks writing a 10,000 dissertation with primary research really easy? If you care about the subject you are reading and you want to do well, it can be very stressful as most students will tell you. There is no doubt that there is lots of fun and freedom along the way, but from my own experience, working 3 days a week in a professional job just to pay the rent an almost cover basic costs, (having constant financiall worries does not help either) and doing a full time degree was stressful, but it WAS enjoyable.

 

Edited to say that I also think that a student at the age of 18 coming from the IOM going to live in the UK possibly for the first time would be extremely stressful. I dont think i would have been able to handle going to Uni at such a young age there is huge amount on pressure, not only to do well in your studies but peer pressure that is on another level from school. Fitting in and being a tiny person in a massive institution is terrifying, even for me at 25, cant imagine what its like for an 18 year old.

Edited by Tea&Biscuits

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Yes I went to Uni and chose a place specifically away from the North Wesst to avoid that "just pop home for hte weekend mentality".

 

it was different and it was tough in parts but its in no way the one of the most stressful thing you will ever do. People take it way too seriously. It doesnt define you and it isnt the end of the world if you dont go or dont pass. Its a mere interlude in life's long journey.

 

If it is stressing you out....leave, come home, get a job, switch unis, go on vocational training, travel....its not a prison sentence on no one will think less of you for changing your track.

 

In 5, 10, 15 years time you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about......

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thanks for your reply.

 

I've always been sure that I want to go to Uni and I'm beating myself up now for leaving.

 

Since I've been doing all the UCAS stuff I've started to get excited about it all again ... I do love the subject I am doing.

 

Not sure what it was at Lancaster, I had plenty of friends. I thought the uni was a bit of a waste of time ... didn't have respect for the departments there which may have been part of the problem.

 

I've felt alot better since I got back and I am determined not to let this beat me, alot of people do leave a uni and then return to a different one and are fine.

 

I was absolutely fine for the first half of the year ... so it's not as if I can't cope with university ... I was loving it!

 

University is where I want to be ... but I think a year out and then returning to Lancaster would be quite negative ... I'd be a year behind all my mates at Lancaster and I can see myself resenting that.

 

I think a fresh start is the best way forward ... and there are still 4 months before I need to confirm that I go somewhere else.

 

If I find a place that I want and I feel up to it then i'll go ... if not I'll knock it on the head for this year.

 

A year off to rest doesn't sound that great .... it means living back at home (which i'd got used not to doing) and also working and I think I'd end up feeling very sorry for myself and quite resentful.

 

I've learnt alot from the experience and perhaps know the pitfalls better for next time round.

 

Alternatively, you could pull yourself together, stop making excuses, stop being such a work shy nonce and just get on with it....

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Okay then I re-phrase, it is prob one of the most stressful experiences you will have in your young adult life - of course looking back in hindsight we know that compared to other situations in your adult life that you deal with, marriage, house buying, kids, career - that uni was easy (ish) compared to that, but it dosent take away from the fact that it is stressful for that point in your life.

 

No it doesnt define you and its not a prison sentence but put yourself back in the shoes of yourself when you were a student when it seemed that everything depended on what course you took, the outcome, the coursework, the exams, the pressure, for me it was all about making the right choices and I was terrified of making the wrong ones. When you are at that stage in your life where you are told from school to always choose the best route in education to further your career prospects you take that very seriously! Obv now we all realise that what we wanted to be when were were 18 is prob vastly different to what we are or what career we decided to pursue. But at the time what you do education wise, whether FE or HE or a trade feels like the most important desicion you are ever going to make - you feel that this choice WILL define your life and that is enourmous pressure!

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Alternatively, you could pull yourself together, stop making excuses, stop being such a work shy nonce and just get on with it....

 

I suppose you don't really understand depression and mental health problems in your simple little mind do you? Don't assume fool.

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Alternatively, you could pull yourself together, stop making excuses, stop being such a work shy nonce and just get on with it....

 

tried to think of a witty and clever responce but couldn't .... so ....

 

alternatively you could just fuck off

 

i am not work shy ... i had to hold down a job just to keep me going at uni ... I have worked since I was 14 and have not come home and just sat here doing nothing. I've found two jobs just to help my mum with the expences of keeping me.

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Depression is a state of mind, who is in control of your mind? I presume the Uni you were at is actually a poly, otherwise you might be able to spell simple words like expenses....

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Depression is a state of mind, who is in control of your mind? I presume the Uni you were at is actually a poly, otherwise you might be able to spell simple words like expenses....

 

i thought that at the start ... just ignored it and stuff ... it's only now that i'm trying to address the problems that i'm getting anywhere.

 

i think it's pretty shallow of you to pick someone up on a spelling mistake when they're feeling pretty low.

 

Also if you bothered to read the thread or my profile you'd know that my uni was not an ex-poly.

 

Anyone else want to kick me when I'm down?

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Anyone else want to kick me when I'm down?

 

Dude this isnt the best place for sympathy....

 

Just try to realise that University is not the be all and end all; its just a small fraction of your life and who you are.....and if it really was making you depressed then you are better out of it. Besides unless you are undertaking a degree that leads to a profession you will most likely end up working in something completely different from that which you are/were studying.

 

Relax, enjoy life, take a few deep breaths, look around at all that you do have and then stick two fingers up at the Uni and move on.

 

Life is too short and too vast to fret about the small stuff.....

 

 

Editted to correct atrocious grammar!!

Edited by When Skies Are Grey

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Alternatively, you could pull yourself together, stop making excuses, stop being such a work shy nonce and just get on with it....

 

I suppose you don't really understand depression and mental health problems in your simple little mind do you? Don't assume fool.

 

 

 

Nor should you assume. My mother has had quite severe mental health problems since 1984 on and off, so don't tell me I'm not in a position to understand them.

 

Believe me, these are not severe mental health problems.

 

Try reconciling the fact that at 15 your mother a) believed you were making bombs for the IRA B) that your family is related to royalty..I could go on....

 

 

"tried to think of a witty and clever responce but couldn't .... so ....

alternatively you could just fuck off"

 

brilliant - university educated response was that ?

 

get some perspective on life as WSAG suggests.

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I think some people are being a bit harsh....maybe we should remember what it was like to be 18/19 and worried about your future!

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Alternatively, you could pull yourself together, stop making excuses, stop being such a work shy nonce and just get on with it....

 

I suppose you don't really understand depression and mental health problems in your simple little mind do you? Don't assume fool.

 

 

 

Nor should you assume. My mother has had quite severe mental health problems since 1984 on and off, so don't tell me I'm not in a position to understand them.

 

Believe me, these are not severe mental health problems.

 

Try reconciling the fact that at 15 your mother a) believed you were making bombs for the IRA B) that your family is related to royalty..I could go on....

 

 

"tried to think of a witty and clever responce but couldn't .... so ....

alternatively you could just fuck off"

 

brilliant - university educated response was that ?

 

get some perspective on life as WSAG suggests.

 

 

Mate, i dont get it, someone on a forum conveying his worries and asking advice, being honest etc, you replied with a short and frankly quite rude reply - iom_cb retaliated - you then fire back with "my mum is more mental than you" - pull yourself together type stuff - same applies to you IMO - depression is not a competion and cannot be measured against one person or another. I wonder whether from my point of view I should now tell you to stop moaning about your home life and just get on with it - get some perspective etc etc - nt nice really is it...

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I thought the title was Advice not Abuse

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From the replies you've had, iom_cb, it appears that you really don't have a great deal to worry about as far as the tenancy agreement goes.

Your real problem (forgive me if I'm presuming too much) is that you don't really know what direction your life should be taking from now on.

As others have said, it may be best to chill out for a while and take a long hard look at the possibilities and probabilities.

Are you, for example, intent on pursuing a career that definitely requires a degree? Do you really believe that life would be so much different at another university rather than the one you've attended so far?

You need to sort such things out before taking your next step - but I do wish you the best of luck when you do.

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