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thelegend
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A DOZEN UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

All generalisations are false, including this one.

Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.

Death is hereditary.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither of them works

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How do you get 12 Manxies in a mini car?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Promote the driver and the rest will crawl up his arse.

dont forget his polo shirt ,fleece and dayglo jacket with the title of "driver" printed on them.

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A man walks into a bar...

 

...his alcohol dependency is destroying his family.

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