Jump to content
Manx Forums, Live Chat, Blogs & Classifieds for the Isle of Man
Sign in to follow this  
Lao

Crazy Email Correspondance

Recommended Posts

This guy obviously has no idea what is of benefit to you and what your club offers if he dismisses wrestling and Judo so readily, and to claim all wrestling is fake. What a douche.

 

This should be taken as far as possible, and I agree with censorship share the email for a serious spam attack.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
no touch knockouts

 

What, do they use poison gas or something.

 

Please, PLEASE write back to him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can't believe this is happening.

 

Cret and I used to collect bad kung fu films on VHS back in the day, so if there are any real techniques you need running by you (none of this modern MMA nonsense), I'm sure we could sort you out. My water vole style remains undefeated to this day, for example.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lao, what a fantastic thread, I've been giggling about it all day. Keep up the good work...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

its all very 'karate kid 2' in my books. but FAF all the same. they'll be sueing you next... :rolleyes:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks Grant, glad so many people are enjoying the thread, but i have to give credit to Nathan Wind, if he hadnt suggested it i would never have carried on.

 

Nathan, i too am an ex collector of the bad kung fu genre, did you ever see that one with Simon Yuen recreating his earlier successful role as the harsh teacher with strange teaching methods, from the likes of snake in the eagles shadow and drunken master, i think the film was called master with cracked fingers, I think they were running out of obscure training methods, as the film see Simon tie up his pupil in a sack full of angry snakes! Me and some of the other instructors i know still mention that one every now and then, "got a real difficult student at the moment, might have to get out my bag of angry snakes!"

 

im up for passing on his details for a spam attack, but i just want another day or so out of him first, if he clams up you can have at him.

 

Ok, im going to write another one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nathan, i too am an ex collector of the bad kung fu genre, did you ever see that one with Simon Yuen recreating his earlier successful role as the harsh teacher with strange teaching methods, from the likes of snake in the eagles shadow and drunken master, i think the film was called master with cracked fingers, I think they were running out of obscure training methods, as the film see Simon tie up his pupil in a sack full of angry snakes! Me and some of the other instructors i know still mention that one every now and then, "got a real difficult student at the moment, might have to get out my bag of angry snakes!"

I don't recall that one, no - but I know both of the others you mention. One Armed Boxer is one of the best for ridiculous training techniques. There's one bit where he rigs up a Heath Robinson-esque contraption that repeatedly bashes a giant (polystyrene - but don't tell anyone) boulder against his one remaining arm in order to toughen it up. Amazing.

 

Edit - You'd actually also do well to study the great Ninja film works of visionary director Joseph Lai, many featuring Richard 'The Ninja Hunter' Harrison of the 1980s. Stunning works one and all. Your guys could take a lot from them in terms of technique, I'm sure.

Edited by nathan wind

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok here my latest;

 

Dear Geoff,

 

Im sorry that you feel that way, because i am very interested in these no touch knockouts that you mentioned. how do they work exactly?, please give detailed instructions about the physics involved, and include a diagram, i love diagrams!

 

These no touch knockouts could be a real deal maker Geoff, i wish you had mentioned them earlier, i would have taken you a lot more seriously. Would it be possible to get a demonstration? i am going to be at home for the next 40 mins, if you could make me pass out for a few minutes that would really be all the proof i need, and if i woke up with a bleeding nose too that would be a real bonus.

 

If you cant do it yourself, because im too far away, get the grandmaster to do it, if he needs me too i can give him a call and he could do it over the phone, or even better get him to do it via the internet, would i need to open special ports for him to do this? please let me know.

 

Perhaps i could visit you for a sparring match, we could have an exchange of ideas, thats what we in the combat sports world do to improve, we test out our techniques in sparring to see what works and what doesnt. I got to be honest i cant see how adopting a boxing stance would somehow open me up to having my knee broken more so than any other stance, but if we got together we could put ideas like this to the test. If i am wrong you can show me where i am open, and likewise i can do the same for you.

 

If i have truly ruined my chance of joining your governing body dont worry about it, just send me the grandmasters home phone number and i will give him a call, and see if he is interested in having me come in as an outside (non member) contractor to run that yearly seminar i was telling you about, im sure that i can serve as a great quality control service, but obviously it wont come cheap, after all i have trained champions, but im sure you guys will get there one day.

 

Andrew Lawrence

BlackdogMMA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Even if this organisation were real as a Martial Arts body (which I highly doubt), I don't think Grandmaster X would want this arse biscuit Geoff bringing such dishonourable actions in his name such as bully tactics and goading an opponent.

 

This definatley sounds suspect.

 

Lao were you able to fing anything about this "organisation" on the interweb?

 

Andy, if you did find anything PM me with some links so I can have a giggle please.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This thread is a jackpot. Thanks Lao for such great entertainment.

 

It's a shame the guy's name is Geoff - (his surname isn't 'Silver' is it?), or is this enigmatic grandmaster's name John Kreese? Cobra Kai?

 

As Nathan Wind has kindly pointed out, both he and I are feared exponents of the 5 cheese method, spanning decades of intensive study and training, sometimes drunken style, of some of the more 'specialist' disciplines out there.

 

I understand your credentials and fine reputation good sir, but should you wish to further your skills and knowledge you'd be welcome to let me teach you a thing or two, as I have 'trained' under some real greats like Hwang Jang Lee and Jimmy Wang Yu etc. Like the McDojo brady bunch, this has all been done 'without' touch, so I'm sure you can appreciate just how skilled and potentially dangerous we are.

 

A word of warning for your own good though, it might be wise to hire Gordon, the ninja hunter, just in case these unscrupulous cads decide to employ the sneaky, underhand services of their ninja sub-department. Watch out for their deadly water spider assault units too - they're really inconspicuous, and could easily catch you unawares!

 

nfd1.jpg

 

:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

thanks for the offer cret!

 

I also trained under the great Hwang Jang Lee, but watching him beat up Jackie chan one day in a old disused temple just for drying his trousers at the fire was just too much for me, i still to this day dont think forcing Jackie to crawl between his legs, before telling him to "beat it and go and clean toilets!" was called for in the slightest.

 

I see what you mean about the deadly water spider ninja assaults, they could be on me before i knew what hit me. I shall have to tread carefully, else the Grandmaster could call all manner of beasts to his aid.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
Sign in to follow this  

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...