stayingover Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 hi, I am looking for a little advice if any one can help. My ex partner has announced that she is moving to the UK and taking our 8 year old son (manx born) with her. I have parental responsibility and although he lives with her he stays with me at weekends and one night during the week, and we share school holidays 50/50. He is settled in school and is a happy boy with many friends. I have said that I do not want him to leave the island as he will have a far better quality upbringing here and it would break me to see him go. My wife is fully supportive and understanding of my concerns. Has any one had this issue in the past and can give me a pointer as to what I need to do to keep my son here with me? many thanks in advance Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homarus Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) Speak to social services and blackmail her over money to ensure access/custody ,it worked for me! Good luck mate. Edited August 19, 2014 by homarus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Who can offer the best home, upbringing, and most importantly future for the child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stayingover Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Hi Spook. Financially and stability wise, that would be me. I appreciate people will say 'you would say that' but his upbringing is of paramount importance to me and I do have concerns over that point. thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I won't add anything. I simply posed the questions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Bawden Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 What does your son want to do? At eight he should have a fairly good grasp of what he feels would be good for him regardless of trying to please either parent, if you don't know the answer you could ask him in such a way that takes away the element/dilemma of deciding to side with one parent over another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sick Moon Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Financially and stability wise, that would be me. You would say that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fox Mulder Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 hi, I am looking for a little advice if any one can help. Wear a condom next time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgain Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 (edited) What does your son want to do? At eight he should have a fairly good grasp of what he feels would be good for him regardless of trying to please either parent, if you don't know the answer you could ask him in such a way that takes away the element/dilemma of deciding to side with one parent over another. What I was about to say. What area are they moving too? some places are obviously nicer than others, moving from the IOM to a big city like Liverpool or Manchester would be a huge culture shock leaving your son (I would imagine) pretty naive. Somewhere more rural like the IOM and it won't be as big a change. Also worth noting that if you believe your better off financially than your ex, you'll be able too afford to visit your son more often, whereas your ex wouldn't be able too if your son stayed here? Edited August 19, 2014 by NeverAgain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craggy_steve Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Wouldn't dare to give advice, but why is she moving? To a better paid job giving her more resources to look after son? To be closer to her family for support etc.? i.e there may be what a court / social services would see as supposedly good reasons for the boy to go with her rather than stay here. Only advice I can give you is go see a family lawyer asap. You'l probably get the first half-hour for free and they may point you in the right direction. I'm sorry for your situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woody2 Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 look up "leave to remove from jurisdiction" (i am guessing that applies to the rock) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolley Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Very tough for you. Difficult without knowing the full circumstances and the personalities involved. Perhaps appeal to her better nature and concern for her son, using the fact that he is so happy and well adjusted here? But of course he may not be so happy if she is not around. Why does she have to go? Work? Off Island romance? Is it more important to her than his happiness in having his mum and dad close by? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homarus Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 What does your son want to do? He wants to be an Astronaut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spook Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 There's the question of what do kids do when they leave school over here. The answer for the ,majority is not much or alternatively have to leave the island. What should come first, second, last, and everything in between is what will be the best for the child in the long run. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GD4ELI Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Seriously - the person to contact is Juan Turner (MLC) if you don't talk to an advocate, you'll find him in the phone book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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