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advice required - mother wants to move to UK with my son


stayingover
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Anyhow, pushing all you drama queens to one side, I'm still of the opinion that the mother is probably best placed to decide what is best for her child, who after all is already living with her. It's ridiculous that a court order is required for her to move without some sort of application from the other parent, so I hope she realises that and does it by the book. But on the basis of what I've read here she'll get permission to move and rightly so. It's a shame for the father but that's life. The lad won't be too far away.

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It is a reasonable debating point that the mother knows better than two single men.

 

The problem is though that John was not saying what is or is not in the childs interest. John was giving advice on how to resolve the situation which the OP described and his first recommendation was to resolve it without the need for the courts. Which John felt was in the best interests of everyone (including the child).

 

Our legal process is set up to be adversarial so is bound to result in conflict and a child stuck in the middle of that is unlikely to be particularly happy especially when they are the subject of the conflict and have no real say.

 

TSM brought up the reference to John's sexuality (which I was unaware off by the way) as a way to provoke rather than adding anything to a discussion about a request for help relating to a situation which potentially will go to a court.

 

In fact TSM keeps throwing in irrelevant nonsense on this thread. I can see no practical advice that TSM has brought to this thread. I have read the thread but kept quiet because I have nothing to add and this is not an area I have any experience in. TSM would do well to do the same...

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It is a reasonable debating point that the mother knows better than two single men.

 

The problem is though that John was not saying what is or is not in the childs interest. John was giving advice on how to resolve the situation which the OP described and his first recommendation was to resolve it without the need for the courts. Which John felt was in the best interests of everyone (including the child).

 

Our legal process is set up to be adversarial so is bound to result in conflict and a child stuck in the middle of that is unlikely to be particularly happy especially when they are the subject of the conflict and have no real say.

 

TSM brought up the reference to John's sexuality (which I was unaware off by the way) as a way to provoke rather than adding anything to a discussion about a request for help relating to a situation which potentially will go to a court.

 

In fact TSM keeps throwing in irrelevant nonsense on this thread. I can see no practical advice that TSM has brought to this thread. I have read the thread but kept quiet because I have nothing to add and this is not an area I have any experience in. TSM would do well to do the same...

Yes. OK I have sympathy with that and I even "liked" John's advice post in the first place as he talked a lot of sense. But all of these threads do tend to broaden out into a wider discussion of general principles, some closely related to the original thrust of the thread and some less so. I think this characteristic of MF threads adds to their appeal rather than detracts, and for that reason I support it.

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Anyhow, pushing all you drama queens to one side, I'm still of the opinion that the mother is probably best placed to decide what is best for her child, who after all is already living with her. It's ridiculous that a court order is required for her to move without some sort of application from the other parent, so I hope she realises that and does it by the book. But on the basis of what I've read here she'll get permission to move and rightly so. It's a shame for the father but that's life. The lad won't be too far away.

the mother is the last person that knows best for a child, clearly you have never had any dealing with cases like this. regardless if the parents are still together, children do better when they are raised by both parents

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It's ridiculous that a court order is required for her to move without some sort of application from the other parent...

 

 

People often get bitter and unreasonable following a break up. Mother doesn't always know best. It's absolutely right that a court order is required if one of the parents doesn't want the child to leave. If a court decides it's in the best interests of the child to move, so be it, but without their intervention single parents could move to the other side of the world and not even tell the other parent.

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It is a reasonable debating point that the mother knows better than two single men.

The problem is though that John was not saying what is or is not in the childs interest. John was giving advice on how to resolve the situation which the OP described and his first recommendation was to resolve it without the need for the courts. Which John felt was in the best interests of everyone (including the child).

 

Our legal process is set up to be adversarial so is bound to result in conflict and a child stuck in the middle of that is unlikely to be particularly happy especially when they are the subject of the conflict and have no real say.

 

TSM brought up the reference to John's sexuality (which I was unaware off by the way) as a way to provoke rather than adding anything to a discussion about a request for help relating to a situation which potentially will go to a court.

 

In fact TSM keeps throwing in irrelevant nonsense on this thread. I can see no practical advice that TSM has brought to this thread. I have read the thread but kept quiet because I have nothing to add and this is not an area I have any experience in. TSM would do well to do the same...

That has never stopped TSM in the past. It was a cheap shot and entirely unwarranted as JW was not saying what was right for the child but what the process and considerations are in these cases.

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TSM made a legitimate comment which was entirely on topic. And now here you are taking it completely out of context in a desperate attempt (a cheap shot, if you will) to try and mischaracterise him as a homophobe or bigot so you can try and get him banned just because you don't like him. #yentas_will_be_yentas

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