advice required - mother wants to move to UK with my son

[Mr. Sausages]

Present the facts that would remove the controversy.

[3v0]

@ 3v0 "This is such utter bollocks"

 

Surely not if it is "on average" and allowing for brillantly exceptional fathers and disastrously exceptional mothers? I wouldn't even have thought it was slightly controversial, let alone Bollocks.

 

Yes, I think it's bollocks.

TJ's statement didn't mention "on average" he said:

 

"I meant a [ordinary] man cannot raise a child to the same standard as a [ordinary] woman. Let's not pollute the statement with unordinary exceptions. Likewise, I'm not saying a man would be a bad single parent. I'm just saying they would be inferior to a woman in this respect."

 

His sweeping generalisation is that males cannot raise a child to the same "standard" as a female.

 

Which is quite honestly bollocks!

 

What even is the "standard" for a child nowadays? Who's responsible for judging them and that standard?

 

Now don't get me wrong, I think that that a man would have different parenting methods to a woman most likely, as I do from my wife, but neither are "better" and neither will produce a "better standard" of child / adult. I think providing a safe, loving, nurturing environment for them to grow up in and how much you support them as they grow is much more important than whether the parent has boobs or not.

 

 

[Thomas Jefferson]

Used the word "ordinary" multiple times in the post. Ordinary = average.

 

Even used the word unordinary in the post. Unordinary = not average.

[Mr. Sausages]

Are you ordinary?

[The Sick Moon]

People often get bitter and unreasonable following a break up. Mother doesn't always know best. It's absolutely right that a court order is required if one of the parents doesn't want the child to leave. If a court decides it's in the best interests of the child to move, so be it, but without their intervention single parents could move to the other side of the world and not even tell the other parent.

 

On reflection I'd say you're probably right. It's in the mother's interest to have one really.

[The Border Terrier]

A man and woman together are the best parents, but in terms of single parentage a man cannot raise a child as well as a woman. Fact.

 

And, excluding the obvious (e.g Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall etc), what woman would deliberately take her child away from its father?

 

TBT.

[The Border Terrier]

parental alienation is committed by mainly females, very few cases by males. this alone shows the males are better after separation to be the main parent

 

Or that males have instigated the breakdown (e.g. infidelity)?

 

TBT.

[quilp]

 

A man and woman together are the best parents, but in terms of single parentage a man cannot raise a child as well as a woman. Fact.

 

And, excluding the obvious (e.g Rolf Harris, Stuart Hall etc), what woman would deliberately take her child away from its father?

 

TBT.

 

 

Many. The child often becomes the stick with which to beat the father.

[Gladys]

 

 

People often get bitter and unreasonable following a break up. Mother doesn't always know best. It's absolutely right that a court order is required if one of the parents doesn't want the child to leave. If a court decides it's in the best interests of the child to move, so be it, but without their intervention single parents could move to the other side of the world and not even tell the other parent.

On reflection I'd say you're probably right. It's in the mother's interest to have one really.

It doesn't matter what is in either parent's interests; it is solely the interests of the child that matter.

[The Sick Moon]

It doesn't matter what is in either parent's interests; it is solely the interests of the child that matter.

 

Hmm. Nice soundbite, but if there was no difference of opinion between the parents the child would basically have to do as it was told irrespective of what might be it's best interests. My point is that if there is a difference of opinion the mother is better off having her position clarified to prevent subsequent possible hassle.

[Gladys]

It is not a sound bite, it is how the law works. I think it is true to say that there is a natural presumption that a child is better off with its mother. But the legal process isn't there to clarify matters for either parent, but for the child.

 

You are labouring under the misconception that parents have rights - they don't, just obligations.

[The Sick Moon]

You are labouring under the misconception that parents have rights - they don't, just obligations.

 

Parents don't have rights, just obligations. Hmm, another nice soundbite. But essentially quite stupid.

[The Sick Moon]

Here's another one. Parents have the right to try and meet their obligations.

[Gladys]

Yes indeed they do.

 

Next.

[2bees]

I wish you'd be nice to John TSM, he's my friend!