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thesultanofsheight

Poo dunnit?

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This really is one of the most graphic and bizarre news reports I’ve read for a while. So after a game of shitty pass the parcel it seems the police are left with a bit of a dirty who dunnit conundrum between three junkie arses.

https://www.three.fm/news/isle-of-man-news/trio-facing-drug-charges-appear-in-court/

Edited by thesultanofsheight

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If there's one drug which should carry a brutal penalty for trafficking it's heroin. The dirty bastards deserve to rot in hell! 

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I just knew it would be about Onchan. And Ashley Park of all places is practically the village's Ground Zero for dog sh!te.

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9 minutes ago, Rushen Spy said:

I just knew it would be about Onchan. And Ashley Park of all places is practically the village's Ground Zero for dog sh!te.

It’s a nice cheap base for drugs distribution though isn’t it? £100 a week to ODC while you’re fishing fetid packets of smack out of some skanks cat flap. They should kick anyone found guilty of using or selling heroin out on their ass there is no need for the public to subsidize a junkies living costs in social housing when there’s so many in need of a roof. Junkies have a habit of being able to survive on the street as they’ll do literally anything to get by. 

Edited by thesultanofsheight
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12 minutes ago, thesultanofsheight said:

fishing fetid packets of smack out of some skanks cat flap. 

Talk about paint a vivid picture :)

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Just now, thebees said:

Talk about paint a vivid picture :)

It’s pretty much how the process works. I do feel sorry for the police lab workers though who will have to work out which packet came out of ass A, ass B, or ass C so they can charge the appropriate mule. 

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I notice the report specifically refers to ‘bodily orifices’ plural and also refers to bodily fluids. Well poo isn’t a bodily fluid, and nor, I’ve been told can you retrieve DNA from it. But it sounds as if, perhaps, we have differing orifices not simply three arseholes (although they clearly are). So test the packages for DNA from the fluids and we may find that the scally wenches have had the H up their respective foo-foos (that’s a medical term for vagina) and perhaps Sonny Jim went for the postern gate. Inspector Yessir (Manx cousin of Inspector Knacker of the Yard) may get a result with the appliance of science. Call me Sherlock.

Edited by Uhtred
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1 minute ago, Rushen Spy said:

Deport him.

Bit harsh, Uhtred was only explaining the way he sees it...

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2 minutes ago, Roger Mexico said:

Actually you can.  It's used quite a lot for identifying animals and so on and even used to track down which misbehaving dog have done the dirty.  Rushen Spy will be so pleased.

Wow - poo detection is possible! Well done Roger. Get yourself up to Onchan. 

(You can be excused foo-foo duty if you don’t fancy it).

 

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20 minutes ago, Uhtred said:

Wow - poo detection is possible! Well done Roger. Get yourself up to Onchan. 

(You can be excused foo-foo duty if you don’t fancy it).

I saw in the paper the other week that policemen get extra payments for certain dirty work. I can’t imagine there is anymore of a bigger danger payment on offer for fumbling up a smack heads chuff than the original envisioned dirty lottery. 

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41 minutes ago, thesultanofsheight said:

I saw in the paper the other week that policemen get extra payments for certain dirty work. I can’t imagine there is anymore of a bigger danger payment on offer for fumbling up a smack heads chuff than the original envisioned dirty lottery. 

What about the people who have to inject the stiff into their veins or snort it up their nose?

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1 hour ago, Uhtred said:

poo isn’t a bodily fluid,

Mine was last Sunday morning:whistling:

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