Jump to content

Poo dunnit?


thesultanofsheight
 Share

Recommended Posts

This really is one of the most graphic and bizarre news reports I’ve read for a while. So after a game of shitty pass the parcel it seems the police are left with a bit of a dirty who dunnit conundrum between three junkie arses.

https://www.three.fm/news/isle-of-man-news/trio-facing-drug-charges-appear-in-court/

Edited by thesultanofsheight
Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, Rushen Spy said:

I just knew it would be about Onchan. And Ashley Park of all places is practically the village's Ground Zero for dog sh!te.

It’s a nice cheap base for drugs distribution though isn’t it? £100 a week to ODC while you’re fishing fetid packets of smack out of some skanks cat flap. They should kick anyone found guilty of using or selling heroin out on their ass there is no need for the public to subsidize a junkies living costs in social housing when there’s so many in need of a roof. Junkies have a habit of being able to survive on the street as they’ll do literally anything to get by. 

Edited by thesultanofsheight
  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I notice the report specifically refers to ‘bodily orifices’ plural and also refers to bodily fluids. Well poo isn’t a bodily fluid, and nor, I’ve been told can you retrieve DNA from it. But it sounds as if, perhaps, we have differing orifices not simply three arseholes (although they clearly are). So test the packages for DNA from the fluids and we may find that the scally wenches have had the H up their respective foo-foos (that’s a medical term for vagina) and perhaps Sonny Jim went for the postern gate. Inspector Yessir (Manx cousin of Inspector Knacker of the Yard) may get a result with the appliance of science. Call me Sherlock.

Edited by Uhtred
  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, Roger Mexico said:

Actually you can.  It's used quite a lot for identifying animals and so on and even used to track down which misbehaving dog have done the dirty.  Rushen Spy will be so pleased.

Wow - poo detection is possible! Well done Roger. Get yourself up to Onchan. 

(You can be excused foo-foo duty if you don’t fancy it).

 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 minutes ago, Uhtred said:

Wow - poo detection is possible! Well done Roger. Get yourself up to Onchan. 

(You can be excused foo-foo duty if you don’t fancy it).

I saw in the paper the other week that policemen get extra payments for certain dirty work. I can’t imagine there is anymore of a bigger danger payment on offer for fumbling up a smack heads chuff than the original envisioned dirty lottery. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

33 minutes ago, Roger Mexico said:

Actually you can.  It's used quite a lot for identifying animals and so on and even used to track down which misbehaving dog have done the dirty.  Rushen Spy will be so pleased.

Well, you certainly know your sh/t. The rest of us need to get our sh/t together.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, thesultanofsheight said:

I saw in the paper the other week that policemen get extra payments for certain dirty work. I can’t imagine there is anymore of a bigger danger payment on offer for fumbling up a smack heads chuff than the original envisioned dirty lottery. 

What about the people who have to inject the stiff into their veins or snort it up their nose?

  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...