Mr. Sausages Posted March 19, 2006 Author Share Posted March 19, 2006 Q: What did the parrot say when it saw a donkey? A: Polyscias! (pronounced polly-see-ass. It's a type of plant) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sausages Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Q: What type of plant won the waving championship? A: A palm tree! Q: What type of plant has an extra leg on its face? A: An eleplant! Q: What do you get when you cross a plant with a swan? A: A swant! I don't know what one of them is, but I wouldn't "swant" to eat one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speckled Frost Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 What's a plants favourite music? Heavy nettle. Why was the heavy nettle fan jailed? Because he was a stalker Where do psycho plants live? The killing fields What did the plant shout when Mr Jupitus trespassed on his land. Clear off Phil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sausages Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 Hurrah! Q: What did the boss plant say to the junior plant, when he was asked to produce a banal plant joke, but instead produced a fantastically funny one? A: "I'm sorry young plant, but you don't have the right plantitude for this position"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Shift Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 Whats the difference between a flower and a weed? " if you water it, feed it, care for it, and it dies, it was a flower ... if you stomp on it, poison it, and burn it, and it still thrives, it is a WEED " Which as far as im concerendis is fortunate really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sausages Posted January 17, 2014 Author Share Posted January 17, 2014 Q: What do you call a supermodel who eats bryophyta? A: (k) Ate Moss! Q: What did the anti pornography campaigning plant produce to support his arguments? A: A "Photo Sin" thesis! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSlot Posted January 18, 2014 Share Posted January 18, 2014 Q: What would a plant do when it comes to this forum looking for good plant jokes, and gets these terrible ones instead? A: It leaves Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSlot Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 I've just come up with a good one. Q. What is the favourite number of Hedera? A. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheDruid-3X3 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Gronda - Gronda - Gronda - Gronda Classsic one-liner from that wise cracking plant that controlled the vortex in BBC 1's 'Adventure Game. Why did the Triffid fart? Because the Tripod's were coming. Do i win the ice-cream cake? Sure! Here you go: Sonny: How do you like that new gardening show? Cher: I can take it or leaf it! ***** Dick: Do you know how to ship vegetables? Fanny: By Parsley Post! ***** Wierdo: I really like that gardening show. Fozzy: Yeah, it really grows on you! ***** Billy Bob: How do you tell a dogwood tree from a redwood tree? Liza Jane: I don't know! How? Billy Bob: Because of its bark! 3X3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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