zephyr Posted December 22, 2006 Posted December 22, 2006 It’s Christmas day in our house The kids have been awake since four Some of the new toys are broken There’s paper all over the floor Finn I’ve told you once Behave Give Ealish her dolly back Cindy and the Action man Weren’t meant to do things like that The Daddies gone out for a jar With the lads from down the street It keeps him out of the way From under the Mothers feet The Mothers in the kitchen It’s her battleground for the day She’s peeled the spuds, carrots and neaps Now she’s well into the fray The gravy has gone lumpy She strains it through old tights The sprouts have been simmering gently For seven days and nights The dining hour has come and gone The sprouts have turned too mush The Mother bewails her feckless man He really is too much The Mothers drinking sherry There’s a half bottle drunk so far She swigs the rest from the bottle As the Daddy falls from the neighbours car The mothers fighting angry Armed with a rolling pin God Help Me she mutters under her breath For I’m about to sin The Daddy staggers through the door Trips on the mat and falls to the floor The rolling pin misses his head by an inch He lies prostrate, not a muscle does flinch You dirty drunken sot she cries You’ve ruined Christmas again She takes a draft from a bottle of Gin And soundly curses barmen So upon her heel she turns Takes up a bottle of Port And kicks the inebriated Daddy In a place that makes him snort He’ll not forget this Christmas She chuckles with malice and glee For his balls will be redder than Rudolphs nose And bigger than the ones on the tree The Mother’s passed out on the sofa The Snowman’s on TV again The Daddies comatose in the hallway Peace on Earth and good will to all men
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