Corpse De Ballet

[zephyr]

PROLOGUE

 

Two families from Takoma

Have fought for years and years

This has led to bloodshed

Tantrums, death and tears

Oh fair city of Takoma

You have seen them come and go

Now Ladies and Gentlemen

Let’s get on with the show

 

Act 1 Scene 1

 

The back stage area is fraught with tension

On this glorious opening night

We have to hope that the phantom

Doesn’t cause the performers too much of a fright

 

Act 1 Scene 2

 

The phantom was once the lead dancer

With style and grace he glided

Everything was going well

Till with a ballerina he collided

He was performing a simple En arriere

But the trapdoor was left open

He said a swearie en passant

He fell and his neck was broken

Now he haunts the theatre

From the flies, the wings, the pit

But being a ghoul and aged

He’s starting to fall to bits

 

Act 1 Scene 3

 

A dancer doing a grand jete

Was most upset when he found

The arm that had dropped off the phantom

Drumming its fingers there on the ground

He tried to change to an Echappes Sautes

But that’s impossible whilst in mid air

His legs crossed his eyes did too

A ripping sound came from his underwear

The phantom had ruined the performance

The dancer never danced again

For he’d landed awkwardly on his cod piece

Now even an a la second brought him too much pain

 

Act 2 Scene 1

 

Back to the story we must go

Before we lose the thread

Or possibly the ghostly phantom

Losses his ghoulish head

 

Act 2 Scene 2

 

Julia was a winsome wench

Born to high society

Her parents had arranged for her to wed

Milan, a lad born to gentry

Now Julia fancied Milan not a jot

Not an iota, a bit, at all

But her parents were quite adamant

The writing was on the wall

Julia had met a roguish bloke

At a dance, well where else could it be

Though she was one of the Castanets

He was named Romario

From the Castanets he didn’t flee

 

Act 2 Scene 3

 

He wore a mask upon his face

So nobody knew who he be

It may seem a little bit tenuous

But this is Ballet darling, you see

The phantom watched the scene from on high

He always wanted to play Romerio

This was because he had no luck with girls

He really wanted to be a lothario

So the phantom let the sand bags go

They fell to the stage with a thud!

Poor Romario was hit on the head

The stage was covered with blood

 

Act 2 Scene 4

 

The phantom swooped down to the stage

To catch Julia as she swooned

Did I mention his brain was addled?

He thought it opera, so he crooned

The Director leapt upon the stage

‘Stop this farce I say’!

A voice from the back of the auditorium said

‘We can’t hear from this far away’

‘What did the ghoul say just then’?

‘Was it that he loveth men’?

‘Bugger off’ said the Director

Well it all kicked off right then

 

Act 3 Scene 1

 

The balcony scene was abandoned

Wherefore art thou Romerio?

They all knew where he was

He’d been smitten by the blow

Julia took a potion

She thought to end her life

It turned out she’d taken Viagra

She’d have been better using a knife

 

Act 3 Scene 2

 

Romario woke upon the stage

He wasn’t really dead

Well, until the phantom seen him

And kicked him in the head

Romerio was done and gone

Julia wept tears of grief

But then the Viagra did kick in

She went with the phantom for relief

 

EPILOGUE

 

Julia and the phantom

Copulated the whole day through

And lo inside her belly

A ghoulish baby grew

She’d forgotten about poor Romario

But give the new mother her due

Now she’s changing nappies

And the odd arm or two

[sarahc]

I would never have thought you knew so much about the inner workings of the ballet.