Observer Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed dept. store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry dept. where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for awhile..You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either .
geo Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 I would advocate reading Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus, as this will either make you fall over laughing or give you a very useful insight into the differing sexes. Notwithstanding the above, this book will not go into the pros and cons of 'retail therapy'. I am sure that there must be a book somewhere that will outline the whole retail scenarios. Geo
Cret Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Ha ha that's ACE! Women are bizarre creatures but I like them even if they are irrational & infuriating. At least men are fairly predictable.
Guitar star Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 eh eh eh eh, thats so good, you should of got a picture and posted it, her face must of been price less
Cret Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 eh eh eh eh, thats so good, you should of got a picture and posted it, her face must of been price less Dude, I rather think that wasn't actually a personal anecdote really as unless I'm very much mistaken Observer is in fact of the bird fraternity.
Guitar star Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 ooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh my bad, thats what i get for being retarded, sorry
purrrrrrrrrrry Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Women are bizarre creatures but I like them even if they are irrational & infuriating.At least men are fairly predictable. Bit like this Cret? How to impress a woman: Wine her Dine her Call her Hug her Support her Hold her Surprise her Compliment her Smile at her Listen to her Laugh with her Cry with her Romance her Believe in her Cuddle with her Shop with her Give her jewelry Buy her flowers Hold her hand Write love letters to her Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her. How to impress a man: Show up naked. Bring beer.
Cret Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Kind of yeah. Thing is even when you do all those things on that huge list you'll still be out of line anyway for some obscure, petty reason! Still, it's early days with myself and my other half and there's been none of that yet. Wonder if it's being saved up or something.....
purrrrrrrrrrry Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 ...or maybe she's a *proper* woman and actually prefers the male list (and an alternative list all of her own? ) Have fun discovering what's on it!
Cret Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 You mean a 'geezerbird'*?! That'd be great but I don't think really she is. I intend to find most of it out anyway, sooner or later..... Am happy enough with how she's been behaving so far. *Geezerbird is not in any way a similar kind of thing as 'ladyboy' for anyone wondering!
Jeremy Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 Hmm maybe I'm really a woman but I doubt it. But I actually enjoy lying there and holding someone I love (although They have now found that in someone else but thats another story I love the feeling of soaring emotions its just indescribab;le, and in so many ways its better that sex, although "making love" romanticaly is amazing as well.
joeyconcrete Posted July 8, 2004 Posted July 8, 2004 "making love" romanticaly is amazing as well. "making love" un-romantically isn't that bad either..
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