Is It Appropriate?

[Minnie]

Just wondered what people's thoughts are on breastfeeding in public. I'm not particularly against it but I do think there's a time and a place for it. I ask because earlier today I went to pick up my 4 year old boy from school and there was a woman breastfeeding a baby, about 5 months old, in the middle of the playground. I know it's the best and most natural way to feed a baby but I just felt that in the middle of a school playground was an inappropriate place to do it.

[Jay]

Just wondered what people's thoughts are on breastfeeding in public.  I'm not particularly against it but I do think there's a time and a place for it.  I ask because earlier today I went to pick up my 4 year old boy from school and there was a woman breastfeeding a baby, about 5 months old, in the middle of the playground.  I know it's the best and most natural way to feed a baby but I just felt that in the middle of a school playground was an inappropriate place to do it.

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I agree minnie, It hardly seems appropriate at all. Why some women feel the need to do that puzzles me. It probably is the best way to feed a baby but couldnt she have waited until she got home?

 

Lets face it, there are a lot of bodily functions that are natural, but we don't (or shouldn't) perform them in public!

[zephyr]

She may have been able to wait but what about the baby?

 

I see nothing wrong with a mother breast feeding in public, it is natural, why are people so uptight?

 

Why do you see it as inappropriate? people go topless on holiday, no complaints, topless models in newspapers, no complaint, a woman decides to feed her child, xxxxxxx uproar.

[Jay]

She may have been able to wait but what about the baby?

 

I see nothing wrong with a mother breast feeding in public, it is natural, why are people so uptight?

 

Why do you see it as inappropriate? people go topless on holiday, no complaints, topless models in newspapers, no complaint, a woman decides to feed her child, xxxxxxx uproar.

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You agree there is a time and a place then?...holidays?....newspapers?

 

I don't know what the xxxxxxx uproar is you refer to, I see just some people saying they find it inappropriate, particularly in a school playground.

[zephyr]

Time and a place yes, when the baby wants feeding that is the time and the place doesn't matter.

 

This topic has been done on other fora and people always say it's wrong. I don't see why.

 

I would imagine that most of the schoolkids have seen their siblings being breast fed and they accept it as a matter of fact.

[Minnie]

As Jay said, where's the xxxxxxx uproar? I wasn't exactly uptight about it, I just felt that in the middle of a school playground, at going home time, lots of parents and young children about, was an inappropriate time and place.

 

I breastfed both of my children but I never found myself in a position where the baby was so hungry that he couldn't wait until we got to an appropriate place or home. I always planned my day around the baby so as not to encounter a situation like that. Babies feed more or less at the same time each day, it is easily possible to get into a routine with them and work your plans around them. And in this this day and age with breast pumps etc there is really no need for this sort of situation to arise.

 

Not all children have siblings, zephyr, and not all people are quite so open and relaxed about this sort of thing. I think you'd find most women wouldn't breastfeed in such a public place, not because they're ashamed to do it but because they respect the fact that others may find it distasteful, and as already stated there is really no need for the situation to arise in the first place.

[Observer]

I don't see a problem with breast feeding in public - there are ways and means of doing it discreetly and if needs must, then so be it.

[Trinity 23]

Discretion is the key... some people are pretty broad minded and at times may not have realise that thier actions cause offense... Did you not make your feelings known to this lady at all Minnie?

[Observer]

Breast feeding hardly requires a broad mind though does it?? It's the most natural thing in the world (well one of) it's not sordid or distasteful?!?

 

So long as you don't thrust it in peoples faces, (clothing is very well designed these days) it can be done just about anywhere without anyone even noticing.

[Minnie]

Discretion is the key... some people are pretty broad minded and at times may not have realise that thier actions cause offense... Did you not make your feelings known to this lady at all Minnie?

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I felt like I wanted to and should've made my feelings known to her, but for the fact that it is one of those subjects that has to be handled with care.........no pun intended there, womens breasts/handling ! If you pass comment you run the risk of causing a scene and looking as if you're discriminating against the person. I certainly did not want to cause any embarassment to the woman or cause a scene, but I do have a right to express my concerns. Please don't get me wrong, I am not completely against women breastfeeding in public if they really have no other choice but to do it, but as you say discretion is the key. In my opinion a school playground is not discreet and she wasn't doing it in a discreet way.

 

I also feel that if you have older children, say in the 9-11 age bracket and in particular boys, you're leaving them open to ridicule/bullying if their school friends see their mother doing this in the playground............."we saw such and such's mum's boobs" etc.

 

Observer - Of course it doesn't require a broad mind, but it does require discretion and thought for other people's feelings around you. It can be done discreetly but the thing I've found is that some mother's who do it don't bother with discretion and they do thrust it in people's faces because they know people would be made to feel guilty if they did pass comment.

[Jay]

I don't think many people would describe breastfeeding as sordid or distasteful, but I think many may find it inappropriate to breastfeed in such a place as a school playground, mainly for the reasons outlined by Minnie earlier.

 

As has been pointed out, there are alternatives, and nowadays lots of public places cater for nursing mothers.

 

Discretion is not always applied perhaps as it should be, and frankly I would suggest that there are some women who are purposely indiscreet so as to invite negative reaction from people in order to drone on about "nothing is more natural" when in fact it could be seen as flagrant exhibitionism with a dubious alibi.

[Uni]

I wouldn't hold it against anyone and I'd would mind my girlfriend doing it.

[Observer]

Blah, blah, blah....Discretion is not always applied perhaps as it should be, and frankly I would suggest that there are some women who are purposely indiscreet so as to invite negative reaction from people in order to drone on about "nothing is more natural" when in fact it could be seen as flagrant exhibitionism with a dubious alibi.

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Eh??? I obviously haven't witnessed that kind of nursing mother - sounds more like something you might get to see in the Castle Mona in TT week.

[Cret]

Can't say it bothers me.

Can understand why it might make some people uncomfortable though.

[joeyconcrete]

Given that I'm currently involved in such situations (no not feeding!) I thought I'd give my opinion. My 4 week old son is breastfeed, and I'm dead-proud of my girlfriend for persavering. Many of the people who were on anti-natel classes either simply didn't want to try, tried and gave up after a day or two or just couldnt be bothered. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of valid reasons not to, and I can understand their point of view, and it is - afterall down to the mother.

 

When my missus said she'd try I was pleased, and it was hard and sore for her - but she got through and now its a doddle (easy for me to say). She wasn't overly keen at first, because two of her friends (who were also expecting) had already written the idea off - going on about the pain/soreness etc.

 

I've noticed a kind of stigma when round some peoples houses - when the little fella is crying for a feed, you sometimes get the "do you want us to leave the room" or "go upstairs". I guess half is their embarrassment or them "thinking" you'd be embarrassed. She was kind of taken back because she didnt think it'd be a problem. I know she sometimes leaves the room so other people don't get embarassed by the whole process.

 

It 'can' be awkward for other people seeing bits of your woman's knockers - but there's tits (which are nice) and then there's a baby feeding on tits (which arent so much like magnets). As someone pointed out, you can do it so discreetly that you cant even notice.

 

I think there's nothing more natural and it does my head in when people moan about it. I know speaking to midwives that the % of breast-fed babies has dropped. I'm pleased my little fella is breastfeed, proud of her, and shes chuffed because she seems him growing and knowing she did that. (then there's the health benefits). Oh there's downsides, she cant drink (beer etc) when feeding, I cant feed him (haha ) and she cant really get her boob out in Safeway (because of the stigma). Obviously expressing milk can get round these problems..

 

I'd still be slightly embarrassed if a mate's wife got her booby out to feed her baby, but if she was fine with it, I would be. Tits just dont look sexy when babies are feeding, their no longer tits - they're milk-optics.

 

Back on subject - "Discrete" is the keyword. Although, it shouldnt 'really' matter, but this isn't an ideal world.

 

In the case mentioned earlier in the thread, the woman probably really didnt give a poop because she'd been up since 4am, hadnt slept, had a head-ache, had to pick the other kid up and the baby was hungry. I'm surprised she'd dressed.

 

I can see breast-feeding becoming out of fashion as the years go by, so eventually it's limited to "tree huggers" who wear sandles and people who cant afford to buy formula milk. I'm all for breast-feeding, and now I'm going to get my pro-breastfeeding t-shirt on and protest.