Is It Appropriate?

[Jay]

I can see breast-feeding becoming out of fashion as the years go by, so eventually it's limited to "tree huggers" who wear sandles and people who cant afford to buy formula milk. I'm all for breast-feeding, and now I'm going to get my pro-breastfeeding t-shirt on and protest.

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I dont know if breastfeeding will ever go out of fashion concrete, I'm all for breastfeeding too, in fact I haven't seen anyone posting so far who is anti breastfeeding, Just a few people who questioned the appropriateness of where it's done.

[zephyr]

I know you are trying to be logical but it's hardly the same arguement is it!

 

Think about it!

 

One breast covered for the most part by a child the rest covered by a blouse, what the hell is there to see or for people to get upset about?.

[Jay]

I know you are trying to be logical but it's hardly the same arguement is it!

 

Think about it!

 

One breast covered for the most part by a child the rest covered by a blouse, what the hell is there to see or for people to get upset about?.

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I made the comparison to highlight that there is a time and a place for everything.

 

I'm not getting upset about it, I happen to think it inappropriate to breastfeed in the middle of a school playground.

[zephyr]

And I don't!

 

I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one Jay

[Minnie]

I am not anti-breastfeeding, as I stated before, I fed both my children that way. I am not completely against breastfeeding in public although I do think breastfeeding mothers should give a little more consideration to where they feed their babies. I'm speaking from personal experience when I say that there is no need for the situation to arise where a mother has to feed her baby in public, particularly in the middle of a school playground. More often than not babies feed at regular intervals and it is easy enough to plan your day around your babys feeds. Although natural, breastfeeding is an intensely personal act and an important part of the bonding process between mother and baby, but I just find it wholey inappropriate and unnecessary for a woman to do it in such a place.

[joeyconcrete]

I haven't missed the point Minnie, and I'm not suggesting anybody is anti-breastfeeding - I was merely generalising and expanding the topic. Some expectant women seem to be put-off breastfeeding without even trying - this is for lots of reasons, but one of which is the thought of the embarrassment of having to do it in front of other people. I think this is wrong, and as "zephyr" suggested there is no right or wrong time/place to breast feed - I agree with this, but think an effort should be made to keep it discrete.

 

I understand you'd try and plan your day, but sometimes you just cant plan when they'll get hungry. Expressing I guess provides an alternative solution, but again some people don't like it (Some babies dont) so its not an option for everyone.

 

Only in America;

 

Many states have passed special laws affirming a woman's right to breastfeed her baby in public places, without fear of someone citing local ordinances about "indecent exposure" or other such nonsense. There's also a federal law http://www.house.gov/maloney/breast.htm) to this effect, about breastfeeding on federal property While occasionally, mothers breastfeeding in restaurants, stores or at the public pool have sparked local controversies, no one has ever gotten into trouble with the law for breastfeeding in a public place. Breastfeeding in public never has been against the law.

 

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T028400.asp

[Minnie]

I'll say it again shall I............I am not completely against breastfeeding in public, but when mothers do it indiscreetly and blatantly in front of other people's children I find it inappropriate and I have a right to express my concerns and avoid my children from seeing this and being embarassed. If you think to breastfeed a baby in the middle of a crowded school playground is acceptable that's fine, but I don't. Of course a mother has the right to feed her baby wherever and whenever she likes, but what about the rights of people around her?

 

I don't particularly think there's any such thing as being pro or anti breastfeeding, there are people who choose to or not to do it, and who are we to sit in judgement over those mothers who choose to bottlefeed? We all know breastmilk is best but many women find it difficult or even physically impossible to breastfeed, and I feel men have no right to comment over this as they have never experienced it for themselves. To breastfeed successfully the mother and baby have to be completely relaxed, if the mother is uptight the baby senses this and feeding becomes very difficult and the baby becomes distressed.............that is why many women give up. There has also been research done, I was told by a midwife, that found the first couple of weeks breastfeeding are the most important, the baby gets all the immunity and nutrition it needs from those first 2-3 weeks, so it's not seen as being a failure or bad for the baby to swap to bottles after that.

 

......and she cant really get her boob out in Safeway (because of the stigma)......

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Yet you said you agreed with zephyr, there's no right or wrong time/place to feed a baby, so long as it's done discreetly.

[joeyconcrete]

Minnie - I'm not suggesting you are flat-against breast-feeding in public. And I certainly don't sit in judgement over mothers who bottle feed, as i said earlier "it is - afterall down to the mother". I also recognize the reasons when b.feeding isnt an option, the thing I didnt like is people disuading my girlfriend from doing it (because they didnt/couldnt). The midwife reaffirmed the benefits and advantages which ultimately persuaded her. I guess anti-breastfeeding is bit of a loose term, I was more aiming towards anti-breastfeeding in public.

 

Would you breast-feed in front of your own children? The argument could go on for ever, the bottom line is it's entirely down to the mother. If someone feeds in public other people just have to deal with it I guess.

[Minnie]

Many of the people who were on anti-natel classes either simply didn't want to try, tried and gave up after a day or two or just couldnt be bothered..........two of her friends (who were also expecting) had already written the idea off - going on about the pain/soreness etc.

 

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When you've had a baby latched onto your nipple come back and comment on the pain/soreness.

 

I did breastfeed my youngest in front of my eldest boy, I don't teach my children that the naked body is a dirty, wrong thing but I do have a problem with my eldest son in particular, who is 10, seeing another woman's boobs when there's absolutely no need. I think if a woman wants to breastfeed her baby and there are other children about she should at least ask the other mothers if they mind her doing it in front of children. Not everyone will have a problem with this but I do and like I said earlier I have a right to protect my children from potentially being embarassed by this sort of situation.

[joeyconcrete]

Hey I'm certainly not saying its not sore, it bloody looks it to begin with. I just didnt like all the negative talk, I often founder "older" mothers were all for it, while younger mothers tended to be more towards the bottle from the outset. Guess its an age/maturity thing too.

 

You do have the right, but you must agree if done properly, its very very hard to even notice they're feeding. Granted, if she wasn't the handiest with her boobs all over the show fair enough, but as numerous people have said discretion is the key.

[Grumble]

What you're missing here is that women get this huge rush of post-partum hormones that changes their attitude to most things.

 

The one that amuses me most is that a normally discreet woman, who flips at the suggestion from a loving partner that she has a great figure and should show it a little more, suddenly thinks it's perfectly normal to gerrem out to feed Junior.

 

And to an extent IT IS - in the jungle! When my children were born, my missus bought a book called 'Breast Is Best' and became a complete convert to the natural cause, and it didn't bother her or me at all. But it DOES cause problems for others who simply don't know where to look.

 

Discretion is the keyword here - and it IS possible to breastfeed without anyone around you being really aware of it.

[Minnie]

Hey I'm certainly not saying its not sore, it bloody looks it to begin with. I just didnt like all the negative talk, I often founder "older" mothers were all for it, while younger mothers tended to be more towards the bottle from the outset. Guess its an age/maturity thing too.

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I was only 21 when I had my first baby, for most new mothers it's a personal choice thing not a maturity thing.

 

You do have the right, but you must agree if done properly, its very very hard to even notice they're feeding.  Granted, if she wasn't the handiest with her boobs all over the show fair enough, but as numerous people have said discretion is the key.

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It can never be done completely discreetly. Once the baby's latched on, yes, but the physical task of actually gettin yer boob out is pretty hard to do discreetly. I tend to agree with one of Jay's earlier posts, I really believe some women do it blatantly just because they can and they know they can kick up a fuss if people, who don't like what they're doing, pass comment.

 

My gripe with this woman I witnessed yesterday was that the baby was not distressed and crying with hunger, I know for a fact that she lives just a couple of minutes away from the school and I just didn't see it was necessary for her to start feeding her baby amongst the other mothers, fathers and children.

[Static]

Minnie, I don't see what your problem is with Children seeing babies being breastfed. In my opinion children should be brought up understanding what the original and natural function of breasts was actually for rather than the perception that they are only there for men to oogle and rightious people to complain about when they can see too much of them. I can partly understand your concerns but in my personal experience, a breastfeeding mother is generally very discrete and all you can see (if you actually look, most people look totally the other way) is the same amount of breast that you would see had the lady been wearing an evening gown (probably less actually!). For some reason it is the thought of it that embarrasses people, why? Women should be able to feel free to breastfeed wherever they want.

 

I have tried to bring my children up without hang-ups about their bodies which seem to be impressed upon them from outside the family from an early age. Why should children be embarrassed by the sight of a breastfeeding mother and baby? Unfortunately the outside influences seem to take as much, if not more, hold with children as my 10 year old daughter thought that it was embarrassing the other week in Crete when she noticed a number of topless women on the beach. She has unfortunately picked up on other peoples hang-ups that the bare human body is dirty, smutty and not all to be shown in public.

[Jay]

people just have to deal with it I guess.

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Why should people "have to deal with it"

 

 

 

I find it a little disconcerting that some women want to publicly display what after all is an intimate and personal function, albeit a natural one, in public.

 

 

It's quite unnecessary, and smacks of attention seeking and self gratification by people who enjoy being the center of attention.

[Minnie]

I said earlier that I don't bring up my children to think the naked human body is a dirty, smutty thing or something to be embarrassed about, but it's also a very personal thing and not to be flaunted in front of all and sundry. My point is that some people, in particular children and especially boys approaching puberty, may find the act of a woman getting her boob out, whether its to feed her baby or not, quite embarrassing. I don't find it embarassing personally, but my children might. If I had a friend with a baby who came to visit at my house I'd be quite disgusted if she started to feed her baby in front of me and my children without first asking if I minded her doing it. Of course I wouldn't dream of stopping her for a second but I'd rather my children were out of the room. Some women think they have the god given right to feed their baby wherever and whenever they like, without thought to those around her.

 

And, static, it's not just my view and "problem", read everyone elses posts. What is it with people singling me out??? lol