Speckled Frost Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Don't get me wrong Static - I'm not defending the social taboo over nudity only that it is quite reasonable that, through the way society is, that people are offended by it and shouldn't be lambasted. I whole-heartedly believe there should be a shift to accepting breast feeding and nudity in public without shame and embarrassment.
Ripsaw Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Why is it such a problem for her to be embarrassed by bare breasts? That's neither a failure in her nor in your parenting skills Society says that she and all of us should be embarassed. I for one am trying to say that we shouldn't be, nor should we make others be. Society says that bodies are sexual and should be covered up head to foot. It's a reminent of Victorian Britain. Breastfeeding nearly ended altogether in Britain a few years ago and even now there are attitudes are that breasts are for men and bottles are for babies. To be honest the whole concept of that way of thinking stinks. Half of the injections and boosters that we worry about inflicting our children to, many childhood illnesses and intollerences would be avoided if people got over their externally inflicted hangups and just did the best for their child and to hell with other peoples ignorant problems. Why the heck should a mother be made to feel that she is doing wrong if she feeds in the playground, in the park or on the No.27 bus? The whole beauty of breast milk is the nutriants and the convenience. The only downside is putting up with people who just don't get it.
Observer Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Minnie, if you feel I have personally attacked your parenting skills, I unreservedly apologise. You obviously love and care for your children which at the end of the day is the best that any parent can do. If I sounded a little forthright, it stems from the frustration that nourishing a baby can be construed as being offensive - it seems such a contradiction in terms to me. Maybe I just haven't come across the kind of mother you refer to. Having breastfed my own children too, I would be lying if I said that I didn't always show consideration for those around me, being dependent on the given circumstances at that time. I do, however, feel that feeding the child can be done without displaying vast amounts of breast/nipple, even during the latching on stage and once the technique has been mastered, feeding can take place almost anywhere and everywhere, be that a school playground or Safeways if need be. I do find it hard to understand when people are offended simply by the fact that a mother is feeding her child, regardless of what is on display or not - that to me means that they are just uncomfortable with the concept as a whole rather than any inappropriate visual display and that, in my mind, is a little disturbing. I am not ever inclined to sit in judgement of anybody, if we were all exactly the same, the world would be a boring place (not least forums?) so on this topic at least, we will have to agree to disagree.
Speckled Frost Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I disagree that you should agree to disagree
Observer Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I disagree that you should agree to disagree <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Heh! Oh, ok then.... I'll stick with it a while
Minnie Posted July 13, 2004 Author Posted July 13, 2004 The thing that has bothered me is that people seem to think I find breastfeeding repulsive and offensive, and it should never be done in public. All I'm saying is I find certain places less appropriate than others, and women aren't always discreet when doing it, as was the case with the lady I referred to yesterday. I don't wrap my kids up in cotton wool and shield them from the "nasty world" but I don't want them to ever feel like they've no option but to sit in an uncomfortable situation which makes them embarrassed because of fear of offending someone. If I feel like someone is doing something which makes my children uncomfortable then I'll tell them. Contrary to what Rox posted, I'm not here to upset or wind people up. We all have opinions, some are just more outspoken than others. I apologise if I've offended anyone personally, but I won't apologise for my views. I may appear to have taken over this topic, but many of the comments were aimed at me so I'm gonna fight my corner! We'll agree to disagree, Obs. No hard feelings, eh?
Observer Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 None at all. It is, after all, only a forum and limited by the constraints of text which does not allow for any of the subtlety of inflection and communication that face to face discussion permits.
Speckled Frost Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 None at all. It is, after all, only a forum and limited by the constraints of text which does not allow for any of the subtlety of inflection and communication that face to face discussion permits. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You're right Observer. For instance you had no idea about the hand gestures I was making during my replies
Minnie Posted July 13, 2004 Author Posted July 13, 2004 Ripsaw - I was trying my best not to 'rant' during this discussion but some of your comments leave me seething quite frankly. I am not criticising your skills as a parent and I really do not mean to offend or upset but........... Who made you such an expert on parenting? Who gave you the right to judge the way other people bring up their children? What makes you think your way is far superior to others? Who are you to say what is or isn't acceptable behaviour for children to see? Who are you to say that people who aren't quite so open about the naked body and bodily functions are harming their children psychologically and teaching them wrongly? Who are you to say that people who have 'hang ups' about the naked body and bodily functions are ignorant? There is no right or wrong way to bring up children, what works for you may not work for another. What you find acceptable others may not. Please do not sit in judgement over people who do their parenting differently to you. Certain things you have mentioned in your posts with regards to bringing up your son I wouldn't do myself, but that is your business and your choice, I don't criticise you or think you're doing it wrong. Rant over, sorry! To back up what I've said above these are comments you've made, Ripsaw....... Half of the injections and boosters that we worry about inflicting our children to, many childhood illnesses and intollerences would be avoided if people got over their externally inflicted hangups and just did the best for their child and to hell with other peoples ignorant problems The only downside is putting up with people who just don't get it. .....laughing in the faces of all those who have a problem admitting their inbred pyscological problems. I am 100% in agreement that covering your childrens eyes to acceptable behavior only ensures that they will grow up with the same misguided outlook. I'm not into teaching him the wrong way then changing facts as he grows, I prefer to get it right from the start. I aim to teach him correctly now and not to be phased, because I know that one day he will reach puberty, and I don't want him to hide giggling behind the bike shed having his head filled with xxxx from kids whose mothers covered their eyes and plugged their ears. I applaud the women who can feed their child naturally without giving a toss about other peoples misguided stigmas and hang ups. Child comes first, ignorant adults come nowhere. I think those who do have a problem should take a serious look at what is important in life and stop being so inconsiderate to other people. It is only a problem to those who choose to make it a problem. I realise you probably stand by all the comments you've made, that's your choice, but I find your comments very judgemental of others who do things differently to you.
Educa Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Amazing that some Mum's efforts to feed her baby has presented the forum with 7 pages of discussion. What a fuss.
Minnie Posted July 13, 2004 Author Posted July 13, 2004 Amazing that some Mum's efforts to feed her baby has presented the forum with 7 pages of discussion. What a fuss. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Obviously a more controversial topic than I imagined it would be, got everyone talking though!
Claude Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 I'm a mum of a six month old and I fought for over three weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding my little one. In six months, I've fed him outside once, because I'm self-conscious knowing there are people out there with attitudes like Minnie's and Jay's. I shouldn't have to feel that way.
Minnie Posted July 13, 2004 Author Posted July 13, 2004 I'm a mum of a six month old and I fought for over three weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding my little one. In six months, I've fed him outside once, because I'm self-conscious knowing there are people out there with attitudes like Minnie's and Jay's. I shouldn't have to feel that way. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Change the record please! I do not discriminate against women who breastfeed and I certainly wouldn't cause you any upset if you decided to breastfeed in front of me, I just wouldn't want my children to feel uneasy if they were in the vicinity. I just ask them to show a little consideration for others around them. Don't blame me, or Jay for that matter, for your self-consciousness.
Jay Posted July 13, 2004 Posted July 13, 2004 Mother ordered to stop breastfeeding boy, eight Duncan Campbell Friday August 23, 2002 The Guardian A woman has been warned by a court in Urbana, Illinois, to stop breastfeeding her eight-year-old son after a national television chatshow showed a video of him suckling at their home. Lynn Stuckey, 34, from Urbana, appeared on the show last month to discuss her practice. She said: "I think people need to see me and my child and realise that this is a perfectly normal practice. We are your standard middle-class American family, and we're not doing anything wrong." The programme was seen by officials in her state and a case was brought against her for putting her son at risk of emotional harm by her behaviour. The prosecutor, John Piland, argued that Ms Stuckey was exposing the boy to ridicule by allowing the video to be shown. In court this week Judge Ann Einhorn told Ms Stuckey to stop the practice and set September 10 as the date for a hearing to decide what action should be taken. Ms Stuckey, who was not available for comment yesterday, has claimed that she lets her son breastfeed about every 10 days. She insists that the practice is natural but does not know if she still produces milk. Her son was taken into foster care for several months in 2000 after a babysitter alerted a child-abuse hotline about the breastfeeding. He was later returned home. Ms Stuckey is not charged with a criminal offence but the judge can make a ruling under state juvenile laws. Guardian Unlimited © Guardian Newspapers Limited 2004 http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0%2C3858%2...05248%2C00.html I know this isn't exactly directly related to the thread, but interesting none the less
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