Jump to content
Manx Forums - A Discussion Board & Classifieds for the Isle of Man

Is It Appropriate?

Minnie

By Minnie
in General Chat

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 120
  • Created
  • Last Reply
thi Newbie

thi

Posted
Posted
Change the record please!  I do not discriminate against women who breastfeed and I certainly wouldn't cause you any upset if you decided to breastfeed in front of me, I just wouldn't want my children to feel uneasy if they were in the vicinity.  I just ask them to show a little consideration for others around them.  Don't blame me, or Jay for that matter, for your self-consciousness.

 

Therein lies the ludicrousness of your position. It's okay to breastfeed in front of you, but not okay to breastfeed in front of you and your kids. How should your average mother be aware of this, let alone care?

 

Everyone's got a list of acceptable social situations in their head - the trouble is you'd have a long way to go to find someone who's list matches 100 percent with yours - therefore as a society we're left with two options, either to allow it totally, or not allow it at all. I'm curious, would you advocate a total ban just so there could be no chance of your children seeing it?

 

I think you're overestimating the effect anyway. As a ten year old boy the holy grail for me would have been to catch a glimpse of a breastfeeding woman, would have kept me going for weeks.

 

Or are you still under the impression that he hasn't yet started to treat his body like an amusement park?

Observer Newbie

Observer

Posted
Posted
I'm a mum of a six month old and I fought for over three weeks to get the hang of breastfeeding my little one.   In six months, I've fed him outside once, because I'm self-conscious knowing there are people out there with attitudes like Minnie's and Jay's.  I shouldn't have to feel that way.

 

Change the record please! I do not discriminate against women who breastfeed and I certainly wouldn't cause you any upset if you decided to breastfeed in front of me, I just wouldn't want my children to feel uneasy if they were in the vicinity. I just ask them to show a little consideration for others around them. Don't blame me, or Jay for that matter, for your self-consciousness.

 

 

That was a bit harsh eh? A brand new member, voicing her opinion for the first time, hardly needs to be told to change the record.

 

Ripsaw's ideas may seem a little off the wall to you, and you certainly do seem to have taken them very personally - but I have to say I understand and agree with the points he has raised. OK, perhaps I mightn't have gone so far as to say some people were ignorant (as you say) but I think that this statement has been taken entirely out of context. He has not said he is any better a parent, or that his way is the only correct way of doing things, he does not and has not claimed to be an expert and neither has he sat in judgement - he has stated his views, no more, no less, as indeed have you. He has not claimed to know what is acceptable behaviour for all children to witness, per say. I am curious as to how you might read it that way, when you have clearly determined what is acceptable for children to see (hence, school playground, children, fathers etc etc etc) In fact I find that particular (and yes personal) attack rather hypocritical.

Ripsaw Newbie

Ripsaw

Posted
Posted

I hope my last comment on this thread...

I realise you probably stand by all the comments you've made, that's your choice, but I find your comments very judgemental of others who do things differently to you.
Too right. I stand by everything that I have written.

 

Who made you such an expert on parenting? Who gave you the right to judge the way other people bring up their children? What makes you think your way is far superior to others? Who are you to say what is or isn't acceptable behaviour for children to see? Who are you to say that people who aren't quite so open about the naked body and bodily functions are harming their children psychologically and teaching them wrongly? Who are you to say that people who have 'hang ups' about the naked body and bodily functions are ignorant?

Find one comment of mine that isn't backed up by medical, scientific or historical fact and I'll publish a whole hearted apology for my attempt to mislead the public.

 

I'm not an expert, I'm just a dad who has fairly strong opinions which are usually based on life experiences.

 

The proof of my ideals are reflected in the way my child interacts with me, other children and adults, the way that he tackles life situations and is supported by the feedback that I receive from those in regular contact with him.

 

Who am I to say all the things that I have? I am me.

Minnie Newbie

Minnie

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I think if you re-read the comments that Ripsaw made, and forget the fact that you obviously have issues with what I've said in here, you'll see that he does seem to stand on some sort of moral highground where parenting is concerned. My post to Ripsaw was not a personal attack and I certainly wasn't judging his way of parenting. I have not (I don't believe, but I'm sure you'll all be eager to prove me wrong) judged anyone elses way of parenting or absolutely slammed them for their opinions if they differ from mine - something which certain people have done on here.

 

"I aim to teach him correctly now and not to be phased, because I know that one day he will reach puberty, and I don't want him to hide giggling behind the bike shed having his head filled with xxxx from kids whose mothers covered their eyes and plugged their ears." ie his way is correct, not the mothers who "covered their eyes and plugged their ears"

 

"I am 100% in agreement that covering your childrens eyes to acceptable behavior only ensures that they will grow up with the same misguided outlook" ie mothers who shield their children from what he sees as acceptable behaviour have a misguided outlook

 

I have not taken his comments as a personal attack on my parenting skills, but I have found his comments to be an attack on anybody who differs in the way they bring up their children to his way. He posted a link in one of the other topics where he tells a story about an incident he came accross, and he judged the parents concerned.

 

I am not the only person who has voiced an opinion about breastfeeding mothers, I have been a bit more outspoken than some, but maybe everyone should re-read all the other comments and query their views???? I don't recall who it was but some else also did not agree fully with what Ripsaw said. Perhaps you should all re-read my comments as well and understand exactly what my view is on this topic.

 

I am not against breastfeeding, or breastfeeding in public, I just believe there are certain places which are more appropriate than others. I certainly do not condone a ban on breastfeeding in public. Many people do not agree with or feel comfortable with seeing a mother breastfeeding in public, their feelings should be considered equally with the feelings of the mother ie both should give a bit of consideration to the others feelings about the subject. I do not want my children to be placed in an uncomfortable position and feel embarrassed ie if we are in close proximity to a breastfeeding mother and my children feel uncomfortable I will take them out of the situation. I would not cause any upset to the mother, she has the right to feed her child, but I'm not going to have my children feel uneasy in a situation. I see no harm in wanting to protect my children from an embarrassing situation.

 

It seems to me there is one rule for one and a different rule for others when it comes to voicing opinions in here. Many people disagree with what I've said, everyone makes a huge issue. I disagree with some peoples comments, I'm being judgemental and argumentative. Do we all have to agree with what the "regular, former manxnet/manxonline" posters have to say? It's ok for certain people to slam my comments and opinions, but god forbid if I speak out against them? To quote a comment someone else made during this topic - "It seems somewhat rich that people are preaching an open-minded approach to this issue yet slam someone for actually having an opposing view. "

Observer Newbie

Observer

Posted
Posted
It seems to me there is one rule for one and a different rule for others when it comes to voicing opinions in here.  Many people disagree with what I've said, everyone makes a huge issue.  I disagree with some peoples comments, I'm being judgemental and argumentative.  Do we all have to agree with what the "regular, former manxnet/manxonline" posters have to say?  It's ok for certain people to slam my comments and opinions, but god forbid if I speak out against them?  To quote a comment someone else made during this topic - "It seems somewhat rich that people are preaching an open-minded approach to this issue yet slam someone for actually having an opposing view. "

 

Yikes! Now that is disproportionately paranoid.

 

I now bow out of this thread without further ado.

FCMR Newbie

FCMR

Posted
Posted
It seems to me there is one rule for one and a different rule for others when it comes to voicing opinions in here.  Many people disagree with what I've said, everyone makes a huge issue.  I disagree with some peoples comments, I'm being judgemental and argumentative.  Do we all have to agree with what the "regular, former manxnet/manxonline" posters have to say?  It's ok for certain people to slam my comments and opinions, but god forbid if I speak out against them?  To quote a comment someone else made during this topic - "It seems somewhat rich that people are preaching an open-minded approach to this issue yet slam someone for actually having an opposing view. "

 

Yes that seems to be the norm here

ans Newbie

ans

Posted
Posted
Yikes! Now that is disproportionately paranoid.

 

Actually it isn't. Minnie has been rounded on by a select few and ridiculed for having a different opinion. I'm not surprised she's lashed out the way she has, I'm only surprised it took eight pages.

Observer Newbie

Observer

Posted
Posted

You think so? I hope that doesn't include me... will re-read all of it with an open mind and try and see the error of my ways. :-(

zephyr Newbie

zephyr

Posted
Posted

Sorry Minnie but I have to ask

 

Minnie did your lad actually say that the feeding mother was causing him embarrasment or making him feel uncomfortable?
Minnie Newbie

Minnie

Posted
  • Author
Posted

"Just wondered what people's thoughts are on breastfeeding in public. I'm not particularly against it but I do think there's a time and a place for it. I ask because earlier today I went to pick up my 4 year old boy from school and there was a woman breastfeeding a baby, about 5 months old, in the middle of the playground. I know it's the best and most natural way to feed a baby but I just felt that in the middle of a school playground was an inappropriate place to do it."

 

That was my original post, if you read it you'll get your answer. My opinion was I thought it was an inappropriate place for a mother to be (indiscreetly) breastfeeding and I was interested in others views. I most certainly did not expect the backlash following my post. The potential embarrassment of either of my children came up later in the topic, it wasn't particularly the main issue when I posted my first comment, the issue was, and I repeat myself again, I thought it was an inappropriate place to breastfeed. If you read subsequent posts you'll see my initial reasons.

 

And, I'm not meaning to sound smug, but it was a topic of conversation between a few of the mothers the next day and I was not alone in my concern. There were obviously some people who didn't see it as a problem, but other mothers also thought it not appropriate, and I don't think people should be condemned for having this opinion. Sorry if you don't agree but that's my view.

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...