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mannananscloak

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A bloke goes to the DOI to apply for a job.

 

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

 

He replies, "Yes, caffeine."

 

"Have you ever worked for the public service before?" "Yes, I was in the army." he says, "I was in Iraq for two tours."

 

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment."

 

Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

 

The guy says, "Yes. A mine exploded near me when I was there and I lost both of my testicles".

 

The interviewer grimaces and then says,

 

"O.K. You've got enough points for me to take you on right away.

 

Our normal hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm... ...but you can start tomorrow at 10.00am - and carry on starting at 10.00am every day."

 

The bloke is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8.00am to4.00pm, why don't you want me here until 10.00am?

 

I'm not looking for any special treatment"

 

"What you have to understand is that this is a DOI job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our bo!!ocks.

 

There's no point in you coming in for that."

__________________

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  • 1 month later...

A DoI worker goes for a crap on the site toilet, which is just a pit with a plank of wood over it, and puts his coat on the plank beside him.

After wiping his arse, he stands up, the plank jumps and his jacket falls into the pit.

He rushes off to get a bit of 4x2 to recover it but, although he tries several times, the jacket keeps falling back into the pit.

A mate arrives on the scene and asks, "You aren't going to wear it again are you?"

"Of course not!"

"Well why bother to try get it out?" asks his mate

"Because me fucking sandwiches are in the pocket!"

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  • 1 year later...

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