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What's stupid about Britain ?


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CitizenTed 702 points

4 days ago

The only thing that baffles me about Britain is the road signs. I've taken everything else in stride, but the goddamn road signs...

It's bad enough I'm driving on the left, but when I come to a roundabout or intersection, I want the road signs to direct me to my destination. For instance, let's say you're driving from Exeter to Swindon. In your head, you know you must head east, just north of Yoevil, then continue east, then at some point past Amesbury you gotta head north to Swindon.

But every time you arrive at a roundabout or intersection, the signs all point to "destinations" like East Cuntsby or Market Pissbury. Which way should I go? Is East Cuntsby on the way to Swindon? I HAVE NO IDEA.

So you take a guess and drive. After 5 miles you are desperate to orient yourself. So you arrive at another roundabout and this one has three exits labeled Fartington, Woolton Nackerby, and Nipplebridge. Which one do I take? WHO KNOWS? So you pick one and move on. Then you arrive at a large intersection. THANK GOD. And it has signs to three highly-prized destinations: Ankleworth, West Bogroll, and Blackton-upon-Rye. Which way should I go? I HAVE NO IDEA.

America may not be perfect, but when you enter a "dual carriageway", you see signs to MAJOR waypoints. In my town, when you enter I-5, it gives you some hints: I-5 North: Vancouver or I-5 South: Seattle. You know: places people want to go!

If I need to travel from Exeter to Nipplebridge, chances are I am familiar with Nipplebridge because no one else is ever going to waste their time traveling to Nipplebridge! So why include it on a sign? And if you do need to include it on a sign, how about adding some helpful info like this:

Swindon (via Nipplebridge).

There. Fixed.

Can I get a job running the British road system? Please?

 

Honestly, it's the constant imperial/metric measurements that pisses me off as a Brit.

Liquids are Metric unless it's Milk or Beer (Which can and often are sold as both... in the same shop, you will find 1pt, 2pt, 4pt and 6pt milk right next to 0.5L, 1L and 2L. And you'll see in some places 500ml beers being sold alongside 1pt)

Temperatures are in °C unless it's summer and then it's °F

Edit: okay, apparently I'm part of the last generation to be exposed to "°F" in summer time because hitting 100 is more exciting than 38

Distances is Metres when it's swimming pool length, track & field.. Yard Foot and Inch when it's Height, Football, Snooker Cues, Carpets and pretty much anything else.

Weight is Metric when it's food, unless it's a steak or a burger. Imperial when it's a persons weight.

Car efficiency is measured in Miles Per Gallon, but the Fuel is sold in Litres.

Recipes for cooking food can and will contain both measurements (I feel this is just to fuck with us)

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