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Anti-terrorism Suggestions


Speckled Frost

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Posted

A suggestion from 'idea-for-a-day.com

 

Equip all airline passengers with a seven inch jungle knife. Any terrorist

wishing to hi-jack the plane would have to be pretty resolute to overcome

seven hundred armed people, fighting for their lives.

 

Genius.

 

Let's have other people's pearls of wisdom to combat terrorism

Posted

Giant robots patrolling the skies. They'd keep an eye out for terroristy types and wack 'em with laser beam eyes before they start blowing people up.

 

A little simplistic perhaps but a corker of an idea.

 

Even just a few 'Gorts' dotted around here & there, although people might laugh at their silver wellies.....

Posted

understand from my security snout that one of the few silver linings as a result of 9/11 is the drop in attempted hijackings because said terrorists now know that passengers will not sit passively waiting to be shot one by one any more.

 

so we probably dont need that axe eugene... sorry showing my age :P

Posted

Mandatory free pre-boarding alcoholic drink with ham or pork sandwich.

 

All female cabin crew to be stark naked.

 

Pork Scratchings crumbs on each seat

 

Each seat made from pigskin

 

Pressurised spray canisters of pork dripping above each seat with auto-release mechanism

 

That would do for starters

 

Mind, the last time that I flew ‘Manx’ the thought of the cabin crew ‘in the raw’ would have put me off as well.

 

The lead stewardess may not have been a lesbian but by God I’ll bet her wife was.

Posted

airplanecockpit.jpg

 

 

Heh, I like this one:

 

The U.S. government has a new website, Ready.gov It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII.

 

The fun thing is that these pictures are so ambiguous they could mean anything! Here are a few interpretations:

 

expl_vis_table.gif

If your building collapses, give yourself a blowjob while waiting to be rescued.

 

 

See: Duct & Cover

 

Stav.

Posted

Reminds me of "Protect and Survive" by the Dubliners

 

PROTECT AND SURVIVE

John Clifden

 

Well the government`s made a document

To help prevent embarrassment

And in the event of an accident

Catching us with our trousers down

It`s no use to you when your dead, nor even when alive

And the name of this piece of paper is, protect and survive

 

Chorus:

So when the nukes come raining down, it`s great to be alive Well,

World war three can be such fun, if you protect and survive

Protect and survive

 

Well a nuclear strike can be recognised It would stand out in a crowd

There`s a flash then a bang then a blast of heat

Then a bloody great mushroom cloud,

So if you happen to see one at the end of the street

Would you please pick up the telephone and inform your local police

 

Put sticky tape on your windows

Block your ears and close your eyes

But it won't make a blind bit of difference

You won't have to watch yourself fry

If you find yourself in the target zone

And you haven't got a shelter

Take a spade into the garden

And dig like merry hell, sir

 

They've got strategic ICBM's

Both theatre and tactical

With independently targeted

Multiple reentry vehicle's

Backfire bombers, Polaris sub's, cruise missiles

And the boy's who hang around the Pentagon

Can't wait to use these toys

 

When Armageddon gets underway

And the rockets come pouring down

All the bloody politicians who started it

Will scuttle off underground

And when they finally reemerge

With no life to be found

They can administrate the rubble

And they can order each other a round

 

For they give us a four-minute warning

When the rockets are on their way

To give us time to panic and Christians time to pray

So when you hear the siren's going

Place your head between your thighs

Whilst maintaining this posture

You can make a final gesture

And with a little muscular pressure

You can kiss your arse goodbye

 

So when the nuke's come raining down

It's great to be alive, well

World War Three can be such fun

If you protect and survive

Protect and survive

Protect and survive

Protect and...

 

 

 

MP3 clip

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