Observer Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 SCOTTISH AND IRISH FLOOD WARNING Scotland and Ireland have been placed on a major flood alert........ All areas of Scotland and Ireland were tonight placed on high alert as a major flood is expected. This is thought to have been caused by all of Scotland and Ireland wetting themselves laughing at the England result. Boom Boom!
ans Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 Was just about to move this to Jokes and then I realised we don't have one! I'll move it to, err, Web Hosting instead then.
Observer Posted June 24, 2004 Author Posted June 24, 2004 That was part of the joke - if it was in jokes it would have given it away!
Stavros Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 That was part of the joke - if it was in jokes it would have given it away! Oh, you mean like England did? Stav.
zephyr Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 No I won't laugh at that, us Celts should at this time sympathise with our English cousins. Oh bugger it Hahahahahahahahaha
ans Posted June 24, 2004 Posted June 24, 2004 Note that isn't one of my Photoshops. I might knock something up myself a bit better.
Observer Posted June 24, 2004 Author Posted June 24, 2004 Oh that's so cruel.... but dead DEAD funny!
purrrrrrrrrrry Posted June 25, 2004 Posted June 25, 2004 Q:: Why aren't the England football team allowed to own a dog? A: Because they can't hold on to a lead. Q: What's the difference between the England team and a tea-bag? A: The tea-bag stays in the cup longer. Oxo were going to bring out a Euro 2000 Commemorative cube painted red, white and blue in honour of the England squad. But it was a laughing stock and crumbled in the box. Q: What is common between a 3 pin plug and the England footbal team? A: They are both useless in Europe! Q: What's the difference between O J Simpson and England? A: OJ Simpson had a more credible defence Rumours that David Beckham was seen successfully seducing a young woman in a Spanish nightclub with a one-liner have been completely refuted by the English FA. Adam Crozier, chief publicity officer stated: "I find it totally preposterous to suggest that one of our players could make a successful pass to or at anyone." Q. What's the difference between the English and a jet engine? A. A jet engine eventually stops whining. Q. You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and Jimmy Hill.You have a gun with two bullets. What do you do? A. Shoot the Jimmy Hill - twice. Q. What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead English football fan on the road? A. There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q. What do English football fans and sperm have in common? A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being. Q. If you see an English football fan on a bicycle, why should you never swerve to hit him? A. It could be your bicycle. Did you hear about the UK politician who was found dead in an English football jersey? The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment. Did you hear that the UK Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps with pictures of English football players on them. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q. What do you have when 100 English football fans are buried up to their necks in sand? A. Not enough sand. Hey, don't shoot the messenger! Got it in an email!!!
Observer Posted June 25, 2004 Author Posted June 25, 2004 *NEWS FLASH* President Bushes men have shot down a suspect object over Shannon! The alert was scaled down when it was found to be the ball from David Beckhams penalty.
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