I'm strictly a lager lout these past few yearsBut as the temples hint grey I decided to go for sophisticationA bottle of red wineAnd in search of the spirit of my namesakeA trip to ShopriteI spent 2 hours scanning their shelves - 3rd aisle on the rightYou'll find the wine - there's lots of nice looking bottles with storiesWritten on the labelsI went for the second cheapest red in a nice looking bottleYou never know who might be behind you in the checkout queueScanning and analysing your buys . . .So I got myself £3.99's worth of Californian RedRivercrest - the name sounded good to me You see, two and a half quids worth - a pint - of that yellow chemical brewGets me nowhereAnd a fiver's worth, well, little further . . .But only half way into that Californian redI really thought I was Dean MartinSo I searched out all my CDs to enhance the moodVal Doonican was the nearest I foundI even tuned up my old guitar andPut on a big woolie jumperAll I need now is a rocking chairOh, and half a dozen girlsSinging the chorusesJust like good ol' Val on TVMaggie.mp3Which reminded me thatSome of his best friends were songsThe genial Irish be-sweatered rocking chair maestroWhose show was a never-changing old-folks pleaser from the BBCHe was backed by pretty girls for pretty muchA quarter of a centurySome guests seemingly showed up every week:John Denver . . . . Elaine "Two Ronnies" Paige . . . . . . . . . . tacky 70s supergroup Skyand The Geoff Love Orchestra: "Up, Up And Away"The show must have outlived its sell-by dateBy a decade at leastThe Christmas Eve specialsAre genuinely fondly remembered by many. . . well, me at leastHe released an album entitled Val Doonican Rocks . . . But GentlyWell said ValBack then if you wanted to avoid homeworkYou could be saved by ValYou see, your folks would let you watch this show on TVHow else do you think so many folk know and lovePaddy McGinty’s Goat andMaggie and so many others?