Due to sad news more than once this week, we are discussing funeral music:

Beloved wants to enter the church to 'walk of life' and leave to some rave music - I hope he's written it down somewhere, I haven't the faintest idea who it is - some geezer.

I want a good tearjerker to go in by - what kind of a funeral is it if you cant have a really good public blub and noone minds? I think something hauntingly beautiful by Enya should do the trick. And I am definitely going to be disappearing through the curtains to Barry White's 'Love Unlimited'. However, I've had a thought this afternoon that I might like - at the moment the curtains start closing - for everyone to leap to their feet, stick their hands in the air and shout 'Goodbye' very loudly. At which point BW's famous orchestra start playing and everyone leaves with a smile on their face (hopefully all be blubbed out by then).

I dont want to be a hypocrite and have some poor parson say words over me, who didn't know me, and knowing I'm not a member of his flock - but I will be solid gooooone by then and as everyone knows funerals are for those left behind, not the dead. Heaven knows I've been to enough of them over the years.

I also want to say something like 'if you see my best beloved snogging a busty blonde on the way out of the funeral, dont get irate on my behalf because I'm gone never coming back and frankly wish him all the very best'. I mean it too. People get too het up on 'what someone would have liked' or 'not liked' - they are dead - get used to it and move on. I dont want someone to place mawkish ads in the paper for me on my birthday and on the day I died - although I love reading them! Dont stand still when I am gone - move forward and get on with life - thats what I would like. How you go about it and with whom is up to you - now get moving!

Still juicing, still loosing weight and feeling pretty damn fine if I do say so (oops - famous last words!)

PS: paid my subscription today, ta very much