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Vicious Vengeful Cars

John Wright


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I have a C3 Pluriel parked in my garage space in Spain.


It is great in the sun, roof down, and handy for nipping around. It also pulls our trailer, but it is cussed


On our November trip the car would not start. Garage man started with jump leads. We asked should we follow him to garage and get new battery, but he told us to drive around. After an hour we stopped in a side street. The lights went off, proof the battery had not recharged. Sighing we reached for the door, it wouldn’t open. The default position in power failure is locked. Windows are electric as well. We tried to break a window, to no avail. It was 9.00pm and dark. Eventually a man walking his dog came over and we were able to slip the key out through a small gap between the window and rubber on the frame. He opened the door manually from outside. We now carry window hammers in all vehicles!


Even better, In February I bought the kitchen units at IKEA, had a trailer to put on back of car. parked in IKEA underground, came back with trolley load of units, no trailer. Some shit had disconnected it and taken it.


Left my disconsolate partner with the furniture and went to the nearest B&Q equivalent. Bought new trailer. It was to be an hour whilst they bolted it together, so I went back. We were fed up, so we risked leaving the kitchen units in IKEA underground. Got to B&Q, well Bauhaus really, and there was a problem. My bank had refused my card! Now I knew there was nothing spent on it. It was obviously one of these computer has detected odd pattern of use, you have spent €2,000 at IKEA and another €700 at Bauhaus, but yesterday it was 45p at Douglas Shoprite, theft alert.


SO embarrassed I rang the card issuer, no problem instantly corrected and card went through. Got hitched, back to IKEA and guess what, the stuff was still there, not that we could have cared less by now. Any way packed up trailer and so to bed!


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