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Monday December 28th



Good day people. Well firstly I am generally feeling better about life in general these last couple of days. I am still having problems sleeping, so last night I took 3 of the sleeping pills which is the maximum allowed. They made no damn difference what-so-ever. I might as well have swallowed a tube of smarties, so I have chucked the damn things in the bin and tonight I shall return to the brandy bottle.


Blimey the other day we discovered a copy of my book on sale on Amazon for £35. They must be mad. Its strange how last week I went through a really dark, dark, low period, and this week I feel much better, yet nothing has changed. As we both sat up in bed this morning, Barbara touched the lamp I bought her for Christmas. She commented on how lucky she was to have a lamp that only required a touch to turn it on and another touch for it to brighten up. I thought to myself. I wished I could just touch a lamp and my darkness would end. Then it occurred to me that, no, I was the lucky one, for I had no need of any artificial light. My lamp burns within me brightly and although it may have dimmed from time to time, it has never gone out.


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