Genius dog

[Uhtred]

A Douglas butcher is shooing away a dog from his shop when he sees £20 and a note in the dog’s mouth which says “5 lamb chops, please.” Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag containing the chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across Lord Street to Douglas bus station. The dog checks the timetable and sits on a bench. When the Peel bus arrives, the dog walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. 

As the bus travels out past Snugborough the dog takes in the scenery. In Glen Vine he stands on his back paws to push the “stop” bell, leaves the bus and the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the step. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself - Whack! - against the front door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps over the wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps back over the wall and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and shouting at the dog. The butcher runs up and screams at the guy: “What the hell are you doing? This dog’s a bloody genius!” 

The owner responds, “Genius, my arse… It’s the third time this week the twat has forgotten his keys!”