Number 1 son is giving me the mother of all jip. I think if you could discover a hormone restrainer for young men the world would be a nicer place. Take 2 tablets sonny boy and then go and make your long suffering mother a cup of tea and say sorry. They know how to push your buttons and you try to keep the peace, you try to help and you try and try and try and STILL it makes not a jot of difference. No matter what I say I cannot get to the root of the problem and I'm beginning to think there isn't one, its just life - deal with it. All of us at some point in our early lives have to commit to the programme of adulthood - those that dont become the flotsam on the fringes of society. Some people make that committment early, others never do. I made it about aged about 24, if memory serves me well. Cant believe I'll have to wait that long for my boy - probably longer being male. Sorry about the sexism, but I cant be pc at present.

Close to despair today. Is this the payback - get one child back and now play to get the other one returned? Has life turned into a macabre version of a game show? A kind of Hells Kitchen out of X-factor by Rising Testosterone Levels - to give it some racing speak? Life is such a bitch some times. I only ask for a bit of peace for a short while, some recognition of the unspeakable weariness of soul that I'm experiencing at the moment. Give me a chance to re-charge my batteries and then wallop away.

I'm supposed to be going on holiday this weekend, but whatever else is crap in his life - it isn't timing

Today parenthood sucks big time.