It's my birthday this month - next year I should reach the big 5 0 - all things being equal B)

My son is back with us from where ever the bodysnatchers took him and things are progressing fairly quietly, for which I give thanks to whatever star system decided to give me a dig out. Take me to your leader that I may give him/her/it/them a big sloppy kish - mwah mwah darlink.

I have to dust off the funeral coat yet again tommorrow. And probably the funeral umbrella and wet weather gear as well, I just saw Noah nipping off pretty smartish. This time I will be mostly standing in front of anyone who decides to use this opportunity to take the family rift to another plane of cringe-making viciousness once the obligatory ham sarnies and several double whiskies take effect. What is it about death and funerals that brings out the vulture with no shame in some people? I've seen it happen so many times and I still cannot fail to be stunned by this behaviour every time I see it. I wish I had a pound for every time I'd seen it - I'd be sat on the beach in the Maldives shouting for the champagne wallah I can tell you. Instead of freezing my pert behind off (oops slight exageration there!) trying not to sniff without my hanky and wondering where the pound coin has gone that I had ready for the offeratory(? cant spell) - I could be somewhere warm and calm and welcoming.

I can't let this entry go by without telling anyone who'll listen that I've just come back from somewhere warm and this year's no-no absolutely no-no is the MALE THONG - dont do it - your bits stick out the sides when you sit down - yes they do and its horrrrrrrrible. The gent in question was well past his sell by date and far from 'loooookin gude' actually was positively vomit inducing - it was so awful, I cant begin to describe it/them. dangling. eeew. AND another thing - lycra is OUT OUT OUT - you can ONLY wear it to the beach if you iz a porn star on location or you are under 6 years old - otherwise GET A PAIR OF SHORTS!!