Yesterday was something of a milestone for me. It is over 12 months since I was at work. I couldn't manage my job as a senior analyst/programmer at Zurich and cope with Toms illness at the same time. I was so stressed and anxious, I was put on the sick. I missed the people I worked with, but there wasn't any real time for dwelling on it. I had a bigger task on my hands and to even think about work was enough to cause some tears. I knew that the next time I would be at work, Tom would be gone and it was too painful to contemplate.

Anyway, yesterday I met my new Team Manager and a work mate in Spill the Beans for a chat and to keep in touch with all that has changed. I was happy that I didn't get emotional when I met them and after half and hour, I felt I could possibly face going into the building and meeting people. I wasn't sure how I would be, but I felt I had to take that first step. I loved seeing everyone and rather than just sticking with my own team, I went through the whole building and reaquainted myself with people I have written software for. At times I had to pause to collect myself, but I left feeling quite pleased. I felt I could have sat down and looked at a few things there and then, but luckily I have quite a few people supporting me who hold me back with good reason. One good day doesn't mean I am ready. Slowly does it, but at least I have made that step and I have awakened my thirst for programming. I always loved doing that work and felt it was a bonus to be paid for doing something I enjoyed so much. Zurich have to be the best firm I have ever worked for. I have been there over 11 years and they have been superb in supporting me with Tom and my illness. They really are a firm that take care of their staff.

Anyway, my garden has aquired another lodger at the moment. A big old goose was getting quite a thumping by a few other geese on the riverbank at lunchtime. I have treated this goose before as he has a bad limp sometimes and the vet gave me some anti-inflamatory medicine that is given to cats and dogs. I fed him the medicine for a few weeks whilst he still lived on the river and he got better. Today because he is unsteady and unable to defend himself, is the first time I have actually brought them in the garden. He's big enough for the hens to ignore. If it had been a duck, they would have ganged up on it, but Mr. Goose is safe enough. I'll see how he goes and when he is stronger I'll put him back on the river.

Anyway, that a little bit of news from me today. Its a bit misty and damp and I've had a right lazy day.

I hope you are all well and enjoying the spring.