It seems ages since I did a blog. I had an Aunty over and I never really got time to sit and contemplate. I am on my own again and will be for 3 weeks when my niece and her boyfriend come over. After that I am looking to get a good run of no visitors so I can work at sorting out a new daily routine. Tom has been gone 2 months, but I have only spend 2 weeks on my own and it wasn't long enough work things out, not least because that was the time I did my hardest grieving. I have sorted things out in my mind now and am moving forward as Tom would have wanted me to and in pretty much the same way. When Tom was worried or upset, he would sit quiet with no distractions (radio/TV) and think everything through and sort things out in his mind. When he was told his cancer was back, this was such an occassion. He needed the time and space to do it and I had to leave him to that part as only he could work it out. After a time he said "Right, thats it. I've sorted that out nd I'm OK now." He wasn't OK obviously, but he had come to terms with the news and decided on how he was going to handle it. I am in that position now. I haven't got Tom with me, but I am going to try so hard to use his methods to cope. We cannot be together now, he isn't going to come back. I am on my own in this world and I now have to make the best of what I have. That means that I will stop running aroundlike a scalded cat trying to busy myself and spend endless hours wondering what I am going to do. Now is a time for quiet reflection and acceptance. As for what I am going to do, I am going to live each day and see what develops. I am sure the remaining part of my life will be used to help people, but in what form, I am just going to wait and see.

I have been trying to help a young lad out the past few weeks. He is 17 and desparate for a job. I can't give him a job as such, but I can let it be known that a keen young man who cleans my paths and camper, tidies my garden and any other little jobs that need doing, is so keen to work that he gets up at 7 each morning so he is in the habit should work come his way and has knocked on many doors to no avail at the moment. I'm sure that something will happen for him soon. I have let him use our computer to practice his car theory test. Tom and I liked to try and give young people a bit of help where we could and I suppose I am just continuing in a way.

I had a knock on the door last night just as I was going to bed at around 10 p.m. I wondered if I should ignore it or answer it, but Skipper was going ballistic and I thought I'd decide when I looked through the door window. Anyway, it was my young helper and he was apologising profusely for knocking at such a late hour. He had quite an entourage of friends with him, all eagerly wanting to be in on the conversation. "We found this duckling running around the middle of the road on it's own." he said. One of his friends said that they wanted to keep it but my young helper wouldn't let them and insisted they brought it to me. I explained that it would die if they just took it home and fed it bread and milk and it would need to be kept warm and fed right. I told them I would pass it on to a lady who does a grand job of looking after stray duckings at this time of year. They went and I was let with a shivering little fluffy duckling. "Great!" I thought to myself. Now I had to try and keep it alive until the next day and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Well I may not be much help in finding young people employment, but when it comes to knowing who to ask about different species, I come into my own. I phoned a friend up who has just started a pet consultancy business and she told me exactly what to do. Anyone on the Island that has a small animal or tortoise may like to log on to Joannes site and see what she can provide or help you with. http://jotherabbitadvisor.webs.com/ Anyway, I got a small box and put a heated pad in the bottom along with one of my jumpers. I settled my little duckling down, put the box in the office and then I went to bed. It wasn't long before the peep, peep, peep from the duckling caused me to check and there it was doing the wall of death around the office. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a duckling was able to move at the speed of light. It was caught when it got in the computer wires and back in the box it went. This time I put an iron on the lid to make sure it couldn't jump its way out. It lasted all of about 10 minutes before the peep, peep, peep started again. Taking no risks, I checked again. It was on its way down the stairs and had come out of the tiniest hole imaginable. That was it! I brought the box in my bedroom and set it down on the bed at the side of me. I also put a cover over the box lid and all was well. I woke at around 1 a.m and did a little check. There it was, snug as a bug in my jumper and fast asleep. At around 4 a.m I woke again, but decided not to check as I didn't want to disturb it. I lay there for a while and then all of a sudden, something furry moved from under my arm. I nearly shot out of bed thinking a mouse or something had found its way in. No, there as snug as anything was my little duckling with its head on my pillow and using me as a hot water bottle. It had escpaed its box again, but this time it found a heat source and snuggled up. Thats how it stayed until I got up at 7.30. Now you can see how I put a whole new meaning to being like a mother duck. Come to think of it, its like a mother hen isn't it? The little duckling ate this morning and spent its remaining time with me tucked under my jumper as I went about my jobs. It has been taken now and put under another mother duck (a real one) who has 5 duckings and in time will be let out into the wild.

I've certainly made up for my missed blog. Hopefully I will do a bit more this week, but I now have to feed my animals. My resident wild goose is doing OK and not showing any signs of wanting to leave yet. All is well with my lot on the banks of the Silverburn River. x