Will we get home sick in Heaven; will we miss our family and friends?

Can you get Sky on the telly and never need money to spend?

Are the houses all built by Dandara, or does everyone live in a tent?

If you can't pay a Heavenly mortgage, does God call around for his rent?

Can you live on a beautiful Island and be as free as the sweet mountain air?

Is the Government caring and sharing, or is the system just as unfair?

Is the Government made up of angels, all hanging their heads in despair?

As old bygone members of Tynwald, are now raking havoc up there.

Are there busses from Heaven to Hell? Can you get there by boat or by plane?

Or is the Steam Packet running the seacat and cancelling sailings again?

Is it hard to keep warm in the winter, whilst the fires in Hell are ablaze?

Have the seats all gone round the fire, to the deemsters and bent MHK'S?

Is food expensive in Heaven? It will all seem so bloody unfair,

If Shoprite have cornered the market, and opened their branches up there!

Our shares are not worth a carrot and our bank accounts empty and bare,

Because Woolies and Singer and Friedlander, have moved all their assets up there.

So will I be home sick in Heaven; when I reach my pad in the sky?

Will all my troubles be history, or am I in for a shock when I die?

Just what can you do up in Heaven, when you're all screwed up in your head,

And suicide isn't an option, well not when you're already dead.

So will I be home sick in Heaven, is the landscape as Manx as the hills.

Will the salt air blow in from the ocean and my lungs with its perfume it fills?

Or will fences block off my pathway, with notices making it clear.

Reserved for Jeremy Clarkson, no further access from here!

So I'll do a deal with the devil, and continue with my sinful ways.

But I know I am bound for Heaven, to spend the rest of my days.

As there's a sign on the gateway to hell, and in big block letters it says,

Sorry we are full up to bursting, with bishops and bent MHK'S.

Tom Glassey. On the banks of the Silverburn River.