Minnie Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4419160.stm Do we mollycoddle our children to the point that they don't learn independence? With all the horrific stories we hear in the news are we just doing our job as parents and keeping our children safe? Or are we paranoid and overprotective? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilDDog Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Do we mollycoddle our children to the point that they don't learn independence? With all the horrific stories we hear in the news are we just doing our job as parents and keeping our children safe? Or are we paranoid and overprotective? We are just doing our job as parents and keeping our children safe. Anyone to suggest anything to the contrary is an idiot. There are people out there that don't care about their children and would rather be in the pub or crack house. Those are the stories journalist dumbasses should be writing about, not people who make a point of looking after their children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 I feel sorry for those people that are parents in the society of today. There are so many experts with so many different theories about what is best for a childs welfare, that being a parent must be very confusing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Minxie Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Mothers feel guilty leaving their children to watch television on their own, so sit down and watch Pingu beside them, wasting valuable time that could be far better spent sitting in the kitchen smoking and doing Su Doku puzzles. I'd rather play with my children than household chores. I get plenty of time for Su Doku (or Manx forums) when they are in bed. I think that in a changing world, parenting skills also change and adapt to society and life style. Saying this I do think children should have time to be children and have fun rather than be pushed all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted December 2, 2005 Share Posted December 2, 2005 Probably going to be very unpopular with this, but.... I think he has a point, children are too protected nowadays. How else will they learn to handle disappointment, mistakes, isolation, and otherwise deal with the things that are thrown at us in everyday life? There is a difference between abandonementand loving care. No matter how many times you can tell a child that a certain thing or action is not good/hurtful etc. it is only by experience that they will really learn. It is also by that experience that they will learn how to deal with other people. Then, after providing the protective cocoon, when they are supposed to be mature enough to handle themselves, they can't; they haven't been give the necessary tools to do so and so come running back to the parents for further assurance, further undermining their ability to mature into full and complete adults. I encourage my kids to get out, without me (but, obviously, knowing where they are etc.), to learn how to deal with bullies, nice friends, someone being bullied, as that will be the only way they will truly learn how to cope in adult life. If I was there refereeing all the time, how would they learn that judgement? Same goes for physical safety, I see kids around here padded up, with helmets scooting down the road. Their parents think they have sent out a very safe child, but what they have done is sent out a child that hasn't even grazed a knee so doesn't even think about getting hurt, until it whizzes round the corner straight into a car! One of the very good things about living on the IOM is the assurance that you are pretty sure your kids are safe from the predators in the UK. That allows them to get out and PLAY, unaccompanied and without their archangel to take their responsibility for themselves away from them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grumble Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 Bloody good post GTBB. Kids brought up wrapped in cotton wool are the sort who then spend their adolescence bemoaning the fact 'there's nothing to do' and being generally anti-social. I remember being bullied by a local yob when I was a nipper, so when Ma Grumble kicked me out and turned the TV off one afternoon, I wailed that I might get beaten up. "Come back and complain when you've got some bruises then" said Ma. There's a great email round-Robin about the things we did as kids that didn't kill us, blind us or cause our bellies to explode - I won't bore anyone with it now, but it's SO true... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I encourage my kids to get out, without me (but, obviously, knowing where they are etc.), to learn how to deal with bullies, nice friends, someone being bullied, as that will be the only way they will truly learn how to cope in adult life. If I was there refereeing all the time, how would they learn that judgement? Same goes for physical safety, I see kids around here padded up, with helmets scooting down the road. Their parents think they have sent out a very safe child, but what they have done is sent out a child that hasn't even grazed a knee so doesn't even think about getting hurt, until it whizzes round the corner straight into a car! I am sure there will be others that think by sending out your kids on a bike without the correct safety gear and letting them sort out their own problems is irresponsible and would label this as bad parenting. (I am not saying that it is). But why is today's society so eager to tell parents how and in what way to raise kids, there are those that are good parents and those that are bad, but shouldn't people be allowed the chance to try and raise their kids in the way they deem fit before society interferes? People tend to forget that parents and children are still unique individuals and what works for some will not work for others in the same way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zippy Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 I'm with you on some of your points gtbb, except for advocating no protection when on scooters (bikes?) - it would be a shame for a child to be seriously hurt because of a lack of helmet. Mountain bikers, TT racers, canoists, climbers all should wear some sort of protective gear to turn what could be a fatal accident into just a serious one. I'd agree kids should be allowed to get bored and not always have activities provided. They need to use their imagination. My 4 year old boy can keep himself entertained for ages with a piece of string and a pack of fireworks ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted December 4, 2005 Share Posted December 4, 2005 No, Zippy, of course I am not advocating sending kids out without proper protection on bikes (and I don't think I did in my last post)! Nor would I advocate giving a child a box of matches and some petrol just to see what happens! What I am saying is that bundling them up in that way does not necessarily make them safer; it is no protection against a car or brick wall! What does make them safer is understanding that they can hurt themselves (possibly very badly) and this they can only learn from experience. Hence, a grazed knee may be more valuable than helmet and pads. That's my point! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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