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You Know You Are Manx When . . .


Minxie

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You know you are Manx when . . .

 

1. You physically can’t bring yourself to say rat and are surprised that other people have never heard the term ‘long-tail’.

 

2. You say the word ‘like’ at the end of every sentence.

 

3. You call anywhere other than the Isle of Man ‘across’

 

4. You get annoyed when people call England ‘the mainland’ because everyone knows that the Isle of Man is far superior.

 

5. You tell Peel girl jokes instead of Essex girl jokes.

 

6. You tell anybody who disagrees with you “if you don’t like it, there’s a boat in the morning”.

 

7. You understand the phrase “traa di liaoor yessir” and accept it as a valid reason when something is not done on time.

 

8. You remember when Ted the Tramp lying drunk outside the Villa Marina was a tourist attraction.

 

9. You spend more on getting to Manchester airport than you do on the rest of your holiday.

 

10. You didn’t know what Halloween was until you were 10.

 

11. You didn’t know there was any other place but the Isle of Man until you were 10.

 

12. You love chips, cheese & gravy and feel that it is a meal of great nutritional value.

 

13. You understand every type of building work funded by the government will cost a fortune and look completely out of place, and spend the next 10 years being criticised by the public.

 

14. When you talk to people you haven’t seen in a while you begin to the conversation with “alright Yessir!”

 

15. You laugh at the naïve people who visit the island in TT week and believe that the Island is always like that, and it’s even funnier when they move here and find out there is fuck all to do.

 

16. You are proud to be Manx and hate to be called English but when it comes to the World Cup you support England even though at every other time of the year you are Manx as the hills).

 

17. You use phrases such as ‘Manx as the Hills’

 

18. You always say hello to the fairies.

 

19. You don’t need Friends Reunited to find people you went to school with, you just go to the pub.

 

20. You pack a flask and sandwiches to drive “all the way to Ramsey”.

 

21. You always say you are going UP to Ramsey and DOWN to Castletown, OUT to Peel and IN to Douglas.

 

22. You think 8 cars in a line is a traffic jam and use it as an excuse to be late for work.

 

23. You can’t drive on a motorway.

 

24. Quarterbridge is a highly dangerous, major roundabout. You don’t know what to do when you get there.

 

25. You walk through town and recognise almost every other person, but can’t remember where from.

 

26. Everyone you date has been out with at least one of your friends.

 

27. If you throw a sickie from work you stay in and lock the doors because you know your boss will see you no matter where you are on the Island.

 

28. The only live theatre acts are tribute bands.

 

29. You class David Cretney and the Manx radio presenters as major celebrities.

 

30. You get excited when you meet someone ‘across’ who has heard of the Isle of Man and they ask if you know somebody they know.

 

31. You hate it when people confuse the Island with the Isle of Wight.

 

32. You watch anything that has been produced by the Manx Film Commission or programmes on telly that the Isle of Man might get a tiny mention in, even if it is rubbish, just so you can say “I recognise that place!”

 

33. However, you hate all the ‘poncy film fellas’ coming over to film, who sawn around as if they own the place.

 

34. When you can’t be bothered you say “I’ll do it after”.

 

35. You don’t mind driving for an extra 30 minutes to get round the road closures in TT week.

 

36. But you absolutely hate the roads closing for cycles, of any kind or filming or any other reason.

 

37. You smile smugly at the tourists swimming on Douglas beach, but swimming in Peel or Port St Mary seems completely normal to you.

 

38. You moan about the island yourself, but absolutely hate an ‘outsider’ saying a bad word about the place.

 

39. You hate the Steampacket with a passion.

 

40. No matter where you go in the world there will always be a Yessir who will piss you right off, like, Boyyy.

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41. A wierd speech impediment prevents you saying the numbers '13' and '14'

 

42. Every time you want to make a point you start with "by Christ..."

 

BTW, "...like" is what scousers say (#2 above), and #31 pisses me off too (but not as much as being asked to choose a version of English apart from just plain 'English' when installing software)

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You know you're Manx when.......

 

 

....this is about the 5th time a thread like this has appeared on a local forum ;-)

 

I can't be bothered reading it all. Is there anything in it that wasn't in the Manx.Net thread that started all this?

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  • 10 years later...

When you go hurtling down Ramsey in shorts and T-shirt because it's raining in Douglas.

 

and my personal fav..

when you meet a youngfella in a pub for the first time and the first thing you're compelled to do is recite their name back to them followed by"Eyy? Knew yer father!" regardless of whether you knew him or not,

or the classic "How's yer mother these days?"

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