Vote For Me

[Albert Tatlock]

Very interesting policies I thought, when you called. But when are you coming back to get rid of that ruddy duck sh1t you left on my windscreen?

 

I hear Alistair Starling and Mervin Woodpigeon might be running against you soon.

 

Rumour has it Woodpigeon is being backed by a local bakery, and has far more bread for his campaign than you - but he is being tight beaked about it all. Woodpigeon and his supporters sh1t messages can be seen on most cars and houses in Douglas. There were hundreds of them in Strand Street at the weekend too. However, I did hear his campaign manager was the same pigeon that used to lead the raids on the Pick-And-Mix at Woolies. Watch out for an article in this weeks 'Carrier'.

[- Paul -]

But when are you coming back to get rid of that ruddy duck sh1t you left on my windscreen?

 

Actually that was a biodegradable totally organic election flyer containing my manifesto

[ynsheltyn]

Dear Mr Duck,

 

I was very distressed to read about the latest election scandal "AG probes something illegal".

 

It has come to my attention that you and your flock may be suffering from similar pondside calls. It appears that for just £28.95 your voters may be distracted from their agreed direction.

 

http://www.grahamsonline.co.uk/product.php?ID=9041

 

Yours,

 

A concerned voter

[Terse]

Sorry, but this

reveals that you're simply a questioner a la Karran.

[Bill Posters]

What is it with the mass duck migrations that take place in our rivers from time to time? I'm sure I saw you in Laxey with some mates hanging around the river..

I would like some reassurance that if I were to vote for you, you would not squander my vote by spending your time bobbing around on rivers.

[- Paul -]

I and my fellow ducks are tireless workers on behalf of many charities.

I expect you saw me afloat amongst my fellows busily raising money for yet another good cause

Here is a picture of me in Douglas with some money I have been sent in a brown envelope raised for charity

I will be donating this to my swiss bank account a deserving cause shortly

[- Paul -]

Greetings to all voters on the Isle of Man.

Sadly I was not elected as your new MHK for Douglas East in the recent election.

This was a democratic decision by voters and I sulked for months fully accept your wise decision.

However it has subsequently become clear to me that what my wallet needs Manx Politics needs is me a new all embracing political party to drive forward change to the present staid system.

I am proud today to announce the formation of my all inclusive multi species coalition.

Here is a photograph of me with Mister Frog who will be doing what I tell him working alongside me as an equal partner as we forge a new destiny for the Isle of Man.

Together we will take as much money march forward to greatness and prosperity for us everyone on the Isle of Man.

Some of you may well ask ‘ But what exactly are the policies of this new party?’

My answer is ‘We haven’t got any yet’ ‘Don’t worry they are all jolly good for you’

We are desperately trying to sound original formulating a full raft of sensible and well balanced policies which will be revealed in due course.

When the time comes – vote for a brighter future under the Frog Duck Duck-Frog coalition

[Terse]

You'll find it hard to beat the fucking chameleons that are already in there!