Neil Down Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back. The host asks him, "And what are you?" The man says, “I’m a snail." The host says, "And who's that on your back?" And the man says, "That's Michelle!" A snail walks into a bank to make a deposit. Then a tortoise comes in and robs the bank. Afterward, the police are interviewing the snail and asks him to recount what had happened. The snail says, "I don't know, it all happened so fast." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craggy_steve Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Mine / Uhtred's supersnail still in the lead after four days of frenetic action, how long can it keep up this pace? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stinking enigma Posted May 30, 2018 Share Posted May 30, 2018 Particularly impressive considering the recent dry spell. I predict some movement by the other runners tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uhtred Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 9 hours ago, craggy_steve said: Mine / Uhtred's supersnail still in the lead after four days of frenetic action, how long can it keep up this pace? He’s built for speed and stamina...keep the faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted May 31, 2018 Share Posted May 31, 2018 Mine got attacked by a passing bird. It was traumatic and the poor bugger is now just a shell of his former self. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doc.fixit Posted June 1, 2018 Share Posted June 1, 2018 ....mine lives in a gastro pod................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shake me up Judy Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 Have they got to Ballacraine yet ? The crowd is getting a stiff neck looking down the road for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doc.fixit Posted June 5, 2018 Share Posted June 5, 2018 ............most of them have run out of fuel 'cos there's no shell garages any more................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTeapot Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 Did they all die in the heatwave? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevster Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 I took the shell off mine to see if it would make it go faster. It didn’t. It was more sluggish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted June 16, 2018 Share Posted June 16, 2018 Wow....look at that Escargot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
craggy_steve Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 For the sake of the snails, and in the interests of animal welfare, can we call this race to a halt now and declare #3 the winner? I know we in the IoM like our endurance sports, but even the World Snail Racing Championships only went on for three minutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stinking enigma Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 Halting the race early only gives an unfair advantage to those in possession of more fast twitch muscle fibres. Usually as a result of some sort of genetic engineering. I don't trust mr sausages one bit not to cheat and therefore, even though my snail is number 3 i think the race should continue. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted June 23, 2018 Share Posted June 23, 2018 No 2, the Eastern European entry, has been disqualified after failing a drugs test. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uhtred Posted June 26, 2018 Share Posted June 26, 2018 The suggestion to terminate the race was understandable but contravenes the rules as established by the Association Regulement Sportif D’Escargot (ARSE) in 1907. These state that any event cannot be terminated for any reason until and unless 40% of the scheduled distance has been covered. As our snails are only on lap 1 of 70, the race must go on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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