Yorkshire joke

[Shake me up Judy]

[quilp]

Yorkshireman goes to the local vet and says, "there's summat up wi' cat."

Local Vet says, "reet, is it a tom?"

Yorkshireman says, "nay lad, I brought it wi' me." 

[Shake me up Judy]

Another Yorkshireman takes dog to the vet: "Me dog has swallowed a condom, can yer do anythin' ?"

"Leave him with me and come back in a few hours" says the vet.

Half an hour later the vet's phone rings: "Don't worry about the condom" says the Yorkshireman. "The wife's found another in t'medicine cabinet"

[paswt]

Couple of Yorshiremen were in a pub drinking and at closing time one said to the other "I'm getting a taste for this" His mate said I know of a place where for a tenner you can get 5 pints, a woman and a  pie , are you up for it . His mate stroked his chin pulled a face before saying "Wot are t'pies like?"

[woolley]

You can always tell a Yorkshireman. But you can't tell him much.

(I declare an interest having a Tyke grandfather.)

[paswt]

You can also tell if someone is a Yorkshireman because within a few minutes he'll tell you ............ I've found

[woolley]

I knew a Yorkshireman a few years ago who was a bit aggressive with it. Didn't have much time for the Manx, so God knows why he came to live on an Island full of 'em. I believe he was prominent in the Pensioners' Association that was agitating for the pension supplement for all rather than only those with 10 years contributions, and he generally had a chip on his shoulder as Yorkshiremen frequently do. One day I heard him arguing with another old chap about a parking space that they had both approached. "You're an ignorant swine." he said. "I bet you're bloody Manx!"

[The Old Git]

Roy?