ans Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 You should see the size of the sandpit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Declan Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Only just read this thread. Thanks Jeremey and Zephyr for your comments about me. It is hard to give constructive criticism, because you never know how the other person will take it. But I think it is something the forum as whole should try to do more often (I know I've been a bit lax of late). TBH. I think Plan B's initial post is fair enough. He didn't name any specific writers just parodied a style of poem that is all too familliar on this and other forums. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with that type of writing but I do feel that there are other topics that people could explore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emotion_Sickness Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 I think someone should lock this topic before the hair pulling and shin kicking begins. Although on a lighter note as homer simson said "Dont worry. being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep...in a giant blender" Those words of wisdom should follow you......... (And does anyone want to pick out any of the many possible gramatical and spelling errors in this post feel free did I use to many full stops before good lord no!!!!!!! and too many excalmation marks and I even spelled it wrong :'( no i can't go on. Kinda lost the point here.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Declan Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 no!!!!!!! and too many excalmation marks <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You may not think it matters now. But exclaimation marks are addictive. It may only a few at the moment but it could soon escalate to the point where every sentence has to end with a row of twenty or thirty of the things. From there you are on the slippery slope to posting entirely in capitals. And before you know it you'll be buying a killer dog and declaring Michael Jackson innocent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old George Woods Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 In the dark days of winter, the cows need more than just turnips in the manger, and hard work though that is, getting them hay is harder. Some farmers have gone modern and baled their hay, but we still get it from the stack. When you build the hay stack, you have to layer the hay so that the stack does not collapse, and you have to give it a ‘crown’ of hay so that it is waterproof and does not let the rain go down through the stack in the winter. Again some modern farmers use a tarpaulin, but that costs money. So to get the hay for the cows, usually just as it is getting dark about 4 o’clock, you get out the hay knife. This is a broad sharp blade, about three feet long and about 8” wide, with a double handle at the top. You have to take it from the side, because you cannot disturb the top. You slice into the side of the stack with the knife, like slicing off a piece of bread. It is the hardest of work, usually done on a cold dark afternoon. As you slice down into the stack you wonder at the futility of it all, because you know you will have to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and the next….. Until finally you can let the cows out again into the pale spring sun to fend for themselves. Those are better days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy camper Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Now that moved me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upstream Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Yes, seconded, a bit of OGW never goes amiss. It's actually a bit depressing that one though As you slice down into the stack you wonder at the futility of it all, because you know you will have to do it again tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, and the next….. Are you ok there George? But my reason for posting was: no!!!!!!! and too many excalmation marks <{POST_SNAPBACK}> You may not think it matters now. But exclaimation marks are addictive. It may only a few at the moment but it could soon escalate to the point where every sentence has to end with a row of twenty or thirty of the things. From there you are on the slippery slope to posting entirely in capitals. And before you know it you'll be buying a killer dog and declaring Michael Jackson innocent. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> It makes me me think of missing friends, where is the lad now? Hey, btw, I like this kind of thread 'cos you can go anywhere you like with it, and don't have to say "OT" and all that apologising palava Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirdick Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Hooooooooow random. It entertains me when threads descend into chaos and 'moderators' try and bring in the peace brigade with their battering sticks. Then it got better when random people started posting random things in a pretty random manner. Random random random random random random random random..... My God, I miseed the 't' off 'it'... the end... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Observer Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Where did I put that damn stick? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirdick Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Stick ! Stick ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Observer Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Run! Run!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy camper Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Stack! Stack! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Upstream Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 My girlfriend left me Boo hoo......... Some more meaningless stuff about her being at my house e.t.c Maybe some more crap about love (even though im 16) Insert line about our happy days End with line about how unhappy you make me But wait, a suprise line about how im happy for you Boo xxxxxxx hoo The end. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I though it a rather good read plan_b. It starts well and you introduce the subject matter in a direct and forward manner - no need for subtle introduction here. The subject matter is of course cliched, but your not ungentle use of it portrays your ironic message. Of course in modern poetry the rhyming couplet can be left to one side and we are allowed to progress our thoughts in an untethered manner, which I feel you have achieved and rather well. There is a certain overall, anti-climactic feel to your work which I sense under achieves, and on further reading the prose it is (to be alliterative) rather random. This has been reflected in the quality - and indeed quantity - of the replies of other critics. The full stop in the etc is of course unforgiveable though. Well done. I enjoyed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy camper Posted February 17, 2005 Share Posted February 17, 2005 Me too. It was so long ago I forgot who wrote it! To avoid full stop confusion I would consider writing et cetera.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ean Posted February 18, 2005 Share Posted February 18, 2005 This thread reminds me of the old manx net days, nice to see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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