stayingover Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 thanks for the replies folks - Matt - I have tactfully mentioned this to him- he wants to remain here. Neveragain - she is moving to the North of England- fairly big city. Its all well and good him being financially better here but weigh up travel costs/accommodation/time off work is not really an ideal option. Craggy- reason for moving is to go with her partner to look after his parents who are elderly. she doesn't work and has no family away from the IOM. I agree that seeing a lawyer needs to be done. Woody - thanks - I will do that Woolley - some people do not appear to have a 'better nature' to appeal to!! thanks for all the help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tugger Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Seriously - the person to contact is Juan Turner (MLC) if you don't talk to an advocate, you'll find him in the phone book. Yes, what you need is someone who lives off the taxpayer, and wants to get the taxpayer to subsidise the business he's in too. How could he not be the person to speak to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sick Moon Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Craggy- reason for moving is to go with her partner to look after his parents who are elderly. she doesn't work and has no family away from the IOM. I agree that seeing a lawyer needs to be done. What is a lawyer going to do, apart from relieving you of a load of cash? I don't see what you can do about it really without it getting messy. It's not exactly Australia. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I have experienced similar and would advise you seek the advice of a family lawyer immediately if it is unlikely you will resolve your differences. A key factor here IMO is the age of the child. My children were 9 and 7 at the time...and 9 was deemed the age they could input into the decision process. This could be innocent and coincidental but could be a calculated move. Was the parental responsibility you mentioned having assigned by court...and were you married to the mother or talking about your current wife? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homarus Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Seriously I;m sure there used to be a family services division of DHSS or something like that they used to be situated opposite the prospect hotel on the corner adjacent to the wedding cake may still be ,they will have someone you can speak to I'm sure, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomTucker Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Get 30mins free at a Lawyers. Look into getting a Residence Order, Contact order or a Prohibited Steps order if needs be. Check out the forms on courts.im Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stayingover Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 thanks for that Albert- My boy is 8. Parental responsibility was mutually agreed between his mum and myself and the Court simply approved it. I am married now but was not married to his mother. I am a bit confused as to where Juan Turner MLC could help GD4ELI...can you explain please? thank you all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wann Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 First off, I would take a look at a few of these: Courts.im - Family Business Edited to add, that you want to avoid going to court, at all costs. For your sake, the mother's sake and the childs sake. This might sound trite, but only the lawyers will win. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgain Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 thanks for the replies folks - Can only echo others thoughts, seek professional advice. Best of luck, its a horrible situation to be in and I hope your son doesn't get affected too much by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GD4ELI Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 thanks for that Albert- My boy is 8. Parental responsibility was mutually agreed between his mum and myself and the Court simply approved it. I am married now but was not married to his mother. I am a bit confused as to where Juan Turner MLC could help GD4ELI...can you explain please? thank you all. Juan Turner is involved in this area indirectly - he put forward a bill giving rights to unmarried fathers. He would be keen to assist in this area if an advocate can't. http://www.iomtoday.co.im/news/isle-of-man-news/more-rights-for-unmarried-fathers-moves-step-closer-1-5089886 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
homarus Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Get 30mins free at a Lawyers. Look into getting a Residence Order, Contact order or a Prohibited Steps order if needs be. Check out the forms on courts.im As above but remember possession is 9-10th's of the Law ,if you are going to have to serve papers make sure your lad is with you at the time,once he's out of manx juristiction it will be very hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GD4ELI Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Get 30mins free at a Lawyers. Look into getting a Residence Order, Contact order or a Prohibited Steps order if needs be. Check out the forms on courts.im As above but remember possession is 9-10th's of the Law ,if you are going to have to serve papers make sure your lad is with you at the time,once he's out of manx juristiction it will be very hard. http://www.courts.im/lib/docs/courtservice/Leaflets/chi02ordersregardingchildren.pdf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 An alternative solution might be to seek compromise. Some advocates can operate in UK and IOM jurisdictions. Perhaps an agreement passed through uk and iom courts by same advocate with you both agreeing...he can leave with his mother but return for fixed school holidays? It might be better than the 'all or nothing' option that might have to be faced if it got to court. Given sufficient notice to the other party, it could also include adhoc trips to uk for weekends too and vice versa to Iom. . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stayingover Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 Again, thanks for all your help. I fully understand that only the Advocates would win if this were to go to Court, and I would be left short financially so its not an option I would like to have to take. having read some of the above Court matters, regardless of individual circumstances, it appears that they tend to favour the mother. Albert. Thanks again - I am trying my best to resolve this amicably so my son does not get involved in a way to upset him more than he will be. Bottom line is that I want my son with me, growing up with his current friends, at a school he loves, with the quality of life the IOM offers, and being in a happy home when he is with me. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Always remember though...parental emotion has no place in court and is effectively ignored. I would urge compromise...but if it comes to a court deciding, be very careful who you pick as your advocate. Some of them are hopeless, claim to be overworked, and often do not go to court as prepared as you might wish or hope them to be. That's my experiences anyway. I 'won', but the reality is there are never any winners in this game. If I had not done much of the preparation and writing up that I expected my lawyer to...different story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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