The Sick Moon Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I don't know. The thought that a gay lawyer and a bloke who can only form meaningful relationships with dogs feel they know better than a child's mother what might be best for that child? Exactly! If a court order is required I bet this mother will get one at the drop of a hat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 That's not what John is saying. I also think John has quite a bit of life experience as well as legal and conciliatory experience to bring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sick Moon Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I know he's not saying that. I'm just saying it should have nothing to do with the law. At this stage at least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 The OP was asking for people's advice. He's getting it. Far better than handing out personal comments designed to offend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sausages Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 The law has to have a say because there are lots of dickhead parents out there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sick Moon Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Far better than handing out personal comments designed to offend. Meet fire with fire. That's my philosophy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sick Moon Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 The law has to have a say because there are lots of dickhead parents out there. I bet the dickhead parents are a tiny minority. The law should eventually have a say when necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stayingover Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Wow, that escalated rapidly!!! Thanks to everyone, John especially, for all the constructive advice given. I am trying my best to resolve this amicably, and more importantly, trying to do this so as to minimise the effect this could have on him. Thanks again. On a side note, since when should a persons sexual orientation (or beliefs/race etc.) have anything to do with giving good advice? That was all I originally asked for and that's what I have been given, for which I am extremely grateful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Sausages Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 The law doesn't wade in uninvited to these situations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Wright Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 and, ignoring the gratuitous comments, I made it clear that OP and ex partner should try and do it themselves without lawyers and then mediate. I pointed out law and prohibited steps orders were atom bombs not to be used. All I have done is tried to explain what the pitfalls are and what the framework is. I certainly never suggested any opinion or solution of what might be in the best interests of the child. That is for mother and father to agree, or mediate or, as very last resort, for a court to determine. TSM your posts have been reported. I will take absolutely no part in the moderating decision making process on that, although I understand you wont believe me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Bawden Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Stayingover....You say your son wants to stay here, have you explained this to his Mother and appealed to her for your son to remain on the island, again don't use your child as a weapon to attack as this obviously undermines a child's self-confidence but if you appeal to her more reasonable and logical nature then one would hope she would be more accommodating. As a child of divorce and the tug-of-war that ensues I can ensure you that there is very little more damaging than seeing/hearing your parents fight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I know he's not saying that. I'm just saying it should have nothing to do with the law. At this stage at least. No, you weren't. Unless everbody else can see different words to me. You can be unnnecessarily scathing at times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolley Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Stayingover....You say your son wants to stay here, have you explained this to his Mother and appealed to her for your son to remain on the island, again don't use your child as a weapon to attack as this obviously undermines a child's self-confidence but if you appeal to her more reasonable and logical nature then one would hope she would be more accommodating. That would be my approach, and surely his establishment at school and with his friends must count for a very great deal in any discussion. I know what you said about the situation OP, but do please search out the better nature within her, even if you need a microscope to find it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vulgarian Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 TSM your posts have been reported. I will take absolutely no part in the moderating decision making process on that, although I understand you wont believe me. You fucking what, mate? What has he been reported for, exactly? Saying something you disagree with? Fucking lawyers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stayingover Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Matt, Woolley. I too was subject to watching my parents fall out and subsequent divorce (messy to say the least) and the last thing I will do is see my boy put through the same. That said - I don't think they have invented a microscope powerful enough to find my ex's 'reasonable, logical and better nature' yet!! We are due to have a face to face discussion in the next couple of days and many comments on here have echoed my own thoughts regarding his schooling/friendships etc. so all I can do just now is see how this meeting goes and then work from there. thanks again everyone (well....nearly everyone) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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