Mr. Sausages

He’s definitely my favourite paedophile.

He’s a psychopath with Fritzl eyes. He doesn’t feel emotions like a normal person.

His deposition is … interesting. Asked if he said “when you’re a star you can grab them by the pussy” he said “historically that’s true, unfortunately or fortunately” Said E Jean Carol is not his type, yet identified a photo of her as his ex wife. Said E Jean Carol thought rape was “sexy”

Anyone had issues with mt installing fibre where they want it? I was supposed to be getting it installed today, but a guy from mt turned up out of the blue on Sunday lunchtime and said they wouldn’t be replicating my overhead broadband wiring (which is what they initially said they would do) and could only install it in my utility room at the back of the house. That’s the last place I want a router so I cancelled. I don’t know if he just being lazy. I’m prepared to pay for longer cables and installation if necessary but seemed that wasn’t an option which is weird.

You asked if I’d changed my mind.

No, in this case too I’d say it’s not the worst thing he’s done.

Jerry Seinfeld told these jokes when he performed at laxey yacht club recently. Q: where did the orange live? A: peel. Q: when the bishop visited santon how did he know he wasn’t on Laxey beach? A: because santon lacks sea, bitch. Q: who are the most popular movie stars in Kirk Michael and Douglas? A: Kirk Douglas and Michael Douglas. Q: who are the most popular movie stars in Ramsey? A: Margo Robbie, Guy Pearce and any other actors who once lived on Ramsay Street. Q: who are the most popular pop stars in Ramsey? A: Stephan Dennis, Craig McLaughlin, and any other actors who once lived on Ramsay Street. Q: how many people from Port st Mary does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 3 or 4. Q: how many people from Port Erin does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 7 or 8.

A man with a giant pumpkin for a head walks up to his friend (who was from maughold).. The friend says, “My God! What happened to your head!?” “Well,” says the man, “I found a genie in a lamp who granted me three wishes.” “What did you wish for?” says the friend. “For the first one I wished for a hundred million dollars, and I got it!” “And the second?” “For the second wish I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world,” says the man, “and I got her too.” “The third wish?” “The third wish is where I really messed up...” says the man. “What went wrong?!” says the friend. “Well,” says the man, “I wished for a giant pumpkin head...”

Twitter thinks he’s finally going to prison for something or other again

This is obviously an attempt to find out where I hide my keys and I’m not falling for it a third time.

Just heard the next queen is going to be a MAN! Political correctness gone made. Woke nonsense.

Can’t believe she’s Pete Tong. Taken far too young.

So? So the British should accept liars and lawbreakers too?

Lol, I properly thought it was. I’ll just pretend it is then.

Sort of trump related because she’s a crazy maga republican, but the craziness isn’t a political act. She’s always been crazy. And cringey.

Cos he wants them to do it again. Asap.