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The weeks most incompatible news headlines?


BossHogg

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I'd like to see the IOM Constabulary or a lobby group of police officers call on the politicians to legalise or decriminalise cannabis. I think you'd see a double digit percentage reduction in workload.

I'd like to see Bill Malarkey's first action as Home Affairs Minister be launching a thorough, independent review of Isle of Man Constabulary to try and stop the rot.

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On a lighter note! When I first came to the Island in 1986 this old music hall song was a pretty fair description of some of the old time coppers still plodding about. I can recall patrol cars parked up on Douglas Head with two bobbies inside enjoying a pint in the vehicle as brought over to them from the old Douglas Head Hotel..Bit of after hours serving nudge!, nudge! wink wink! (You can get an old recording of this song on Youtube and Chas n Dave!)


P.C. GREEN

(They Don't Interfere With Me)


I used to work just as hard as any Turk,

Work'd so hard I got annoyed,

So yesterday I went up and drew my pay,

Then I joined the unemployed:

A doctor came and measured me and when he saw my feet,

Said that they were large enough and put me on a beat,

Put this truncheon in my hand, in my hand, in my hand,

For a 'slop' he said I'd do a treat:


Chorus:


I'm glad that I'm a member of the force,

I'm little Billy Green, P.C.

I only walk about in my uniform of blue,

Absolutely nothing else to do. do. do;

When people have a row and want to fight,

I shut my eyes and then I can't see,

I don't interfere with them

And they never interfere with me!


I never buy bacca and I'll tell you why,

I can always get some shag.

I spot a 'yob' smokin and I'm on the job,

Clip his ear, then pinch his fag:

The slaveys round the neighbourhood, I fill them with delight,

When through the area railings every night I shine my light,

Once a lady suffragette chained herself to me, the pet!

She's going to do the same tomorrow night:


Chorus:


I do a grin on the Bill of Licensing,

People won't be taken down,

I'm making quids nursing other people's kids

While they're in the Rose and Crown:

The other night I bravely caught a burgular, you know,

But found it was a pal of mine and had to let him go;

Girls all like my uniform, see them round about me swarm,

Every time they hear my whistle blow:


Chorus:


I never nark couples courting in the park,

I've been on the same old game,

I hold my tongue, let 'em do it while they're young,

They've only got themselves to blame:

I often see a ballet girl, her name is Mary Peck,

Loaded up with twos of gin, she's getting such a wreck,

She warms her pretty hands upon my lamp when the night is very damp,

And walks home with her tights around her neck.


Chorus:


Written and composed by Fred Murry, C. Hilbury and Percy Ford - 1910

Performed by Harry Champion (1865-1942)

From monologues.co.uk Music Hall Lyrics Collection

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Finally, a comment about the 'Chocolate Orange'. As most of you know, I'm responsible for overseeing the PR/media output of the Constabulary. The more serious stuff tends to come through me, but every officer is empowered to deal with the press. Part of the joy of the Isle of Man is that sometimes we are still able to publish the 'shaggy dog' type of release, where someone has called us with something that would just get lost in the fog in pretty much any other jurisdiction. There are times when releases like this are just 'the right thing to do'. They take a minute, and really keep the place in proper perspective. Meanwhile, officers are out there at all hours, ensuring that people can sleep peaceably in their beds, keeping it so that the majority of the public have little to worry about. And where the most vulnerable need our help, we are there to do our best for them.

 

It seems to happen a lot Derek if you are the one in charge of Police PR

 

It's looking for a dog that attacked some birds today (talk about a shaggy dog story!)

 

http://www.energyfm.net/cms/news_story_451078.html

 

Another apparent pointless waste of time when your stretched I would imagine.

 

Do you know what burglars and thieves actually look like?

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Censorship you must be aware of things the rest of us aren't. you say the rot needs to stop but what rot? investigations fail not all crimes are solved police officers are human beings they will make mistakes. at the weekend there was a drink driver who crashed their car and a wounding in a short space of time which was dealt with no fuss. the police are busy and as Derek flint says these posts take a minute to post up do all you want to hear about is doom and gloom?

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It didn't just chase them, it attacked them. I think it's pretty serious that there is a dog owner out there with a dog like this and who is not keeping it under control. Next time it could be a young child being viciously attacked by this dog.

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It didn't just chase them, it attacked them. I think it's pretty serious that there is a dog owner out there with a dog like this and who is not keeping it under control. Next time it could be a young child being viciously attacked by this dog.

If the young child was dressed up in a duck costume maybe.

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