Gladys Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 Morally, I would question the publishing of this infirmation. I do not condone adultery, but it happens; the harm comes when it is revealed and that causes hurt to many more people than just the adultering party. For every person outed, there is going to be at least one other directly, and possibly irreparably, hurt innocent party. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolley Posted August 21, 2015 Share Posted August 21, 2015 God has already been on and given up on the site. It went down for days just hours later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dilligaf Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Morally, I would question the publishing of this infirmation. I do not condone adultery, but it happens; the harm comes when it is revealed and that causes hurt to many more people than just the adultering party. For every person outed, there is going to be at least one other directly, and possibly irreparably, hurt innocent party. I don't agree. If you know somebody who has a cheating partner and say nothing, you are just as bad as the adulterer. The deceived person has the right to know and if you don't tell them, you do not deserve their friendship. If that website had published the list of names, it would not be the website owner being a twat, but the cheaters!! IMO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Needless to say, I don't agree. I certainly don't condone adultery, but it is a very dodgy area to decide you are the one to reveal all. It is not conniving with the guilty party, but not wanting to open Pandora's Box. It is the ultimate crisis of conscience - do you go down the honesty route or the less pain route? If I knew someone who was cheating on a friend, I would shoot a warning shot across their bow rather than tell the friend. But if the warning wasn't heeded, then perhaps... It is all very well being righteous, but you drop the bomb and walk away unscathed. Whereas, it may better to leave the grenade with the pin out with the guilty party. Certainly kinder, I would have thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Sick Moon Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Needless to say, I don't agree. I certainly don't condone adultery, but it is a very dodgy area to decide you are the one to reveal all. It is not conniving with the guilty party, but not wanting to open Pandora's Box. It is the ultimate crisis of conscience - do you go down the honesty route or the less pain route? If I knew someone who was cheating on a friend, I would shoot a warning shot across their bow rather than tell the friend. But if the warning wasn't heeded, then perhaps... It is all very well being righteous, but you drop the bomb and walk away unscathed. Whereas, it may better to leave the grenade with the pin out with the guilty party. Certainly kinder, I would have thought Oh, how noble. But irrelevant. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dilligaf Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Needless to say, I don't agree. I certainly don't condone adultery, but it is a very dodgy area to decide you are the one to reveal all. It is not conniving with the guilty party, but not wanting to open Pandora's Box. It is the ultimate crisis of conscience - do you go down the honesty route or the less pain route? If I knew someone who was cheating on a friend, I would shoot a warning shot across their bow rather than tell the friend. But if the warning wasn't heeded, then perhaps... It is all very well being righteous, but you drop the bomb and walk away unscathed. Whereas, it may better to leave the grenade with the pin out with the guilty party. Certainly kinder, I would have thought I know what you mean, but sometimes your conscience does not let you turn away from this kind of thing. I knew a bloke, a very genuine, hard working and loyal type, who loved his wife as much as any of us can. Through work one night I saw his wife with somebody else's husband in a very compromising situation. I mulled this over for a few days and realised that I would not be able to face him again without either saying something to him, or feeling very, very guilty and deceptive in not saying something. In the end I told a mutual friend, who knew the guy far better than I and who judged that to tell him the truth was the best option. I fully expected to get a lot of flack for spilling the beans, so to speak, but all I got was the man's thanks and gratitude that he found out in what seemed to be the early stages of his wife's affair. The marriage ended, but he said that he regained his pride and self esteem. He carried on, not knowing how many of his "friends" knew the score and said nothing to him. I think that hurt him a lot. Poor guy is not with us anymore. I often wonder what would have happened and how much more hurt would have been caused had I said nothing. He was a good man and a sad loss to many. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolley Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I'd just mind my own bloody business. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dilligaf Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 I'd just mind my own bloody business. But that is never easy when you know one of the parties involved is it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woolley Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 No it isn't. But the dynamics of marriages are complex and you never know what makes them tick. If you take it upon yourself to get involved in the intimacies you can end up with both parties turning on you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dilligaf Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 No it isn't. But the dynamics of marriages are complex and you never know what makes them tick. If you take it upon yourself to get involved in the intimacies you can end up with both parties turning on you. Yes I know what you mean, but we all have our own set of values and sense of what is right. I had to say something, so told this man's close friend, who I knew would know whether he would want to be told. Often the witness to wrong doing is affected and hurt as much or more than the guilty parties' partners. Edited to add the word "partners". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albert Tatlock Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 ...I would question the publishing of this infirmation.I heard Viagra is good for dealing with infirmation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 Does it help with fat fingers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gladys Posted August 22, 2015 Share Posted August 22, 2015 No it isn't. But the dynamics of marriages are complex and you never know what makes them tick. If you take it upon yourself to get involved in the intimacies you can end up with both parties turning on you. Yes I know what you mean, but we all have our own set of values and sense of what is right.I had to say something, so told this man's close friend, who I knew would know whether he would want to be told. Often the witness to wrong doing is affected and hurt as much or more than the guilty parties' partners. Edited to add the word "partners". I don't think this debate is about personal morals, and we are pretty much aligned on that. It is about a public outing of people who may, or may not, have enaged in adultery. The personal experience you have given is not the kind of thing this is about, really. Thanks to TSM for reminding us of what we should be talking about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTF Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Needless to say, I don't agree. I certainly don't condone adultery, but it is a very dodgy area to decide you are the one to reveal all. It is not conniving with the guilty party, but not wanting to open Pandora's Box. It is the ultimate crisis of conscience - do you go down the honesty route or the less pain route? If I knew someone who was cheating on a friend, I would shoot a warning shot across their bow rather than tell the friend. But if the warning wasn't heeded, then perhaps... It is all very well being righteous, but you drop the bomb and walk away unscathed. Whereas, it may better to leave the grenade with the pin out with the guilty party. Certainly kinder, I would have thought I know what you mean, but sometimes your conscience does not let you turn away from this kind of thing. I knew a bloke, a very genuine, hard working and loyal type, who loved his wife as much as any of us can. Through work one night I saw his wife with somebody else's husband in a very compromising situation. I mulled this over for a few days and realised that I would not be able to face him again without either saying something to him, or feeling very, very guilty and deceptive in not saying something. In the end I told a mutual friend, who knew the guy far better than I and who judged that to tell him the truth was the best option. I fully expected to get a lot of flack for spilling the beans, so to speak, but all I got was the man's thanks and gratitude that he found out in what seemed to be the early stages of his wife's affair. The marriage ended, but he said that he regained his pride and self esteem. He carried on, not knowing how many of his "friends" knew the score and said nothing to him. I think that hurt him a lot. Poor guy is not with us anymore. I often wonder what would have happened and how much more hurt would have been caused had I said nothing. He was a good man and a sad loss to many. funny how we have a thread crying about the freedom of information act so we can find out what people don't want us to know, and another one where people are complaining that people have been told what they ought to know . how many gov.im addresses were there?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dilligaf Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 WTF makes a good point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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